| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
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Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 6 April 2011: You haven't done anything since the 15th of January, which could mean one of three things:
1. you got sensible
2. your sister in law said no.
3. you're scared to do anything yet want it despite everything
Either way, it all came to a good e... (read in full...)
I thought he was my true love. But his actions since the breakup make me wonder. How has he been able to move on so soon after our breakup?
Q. My ex is 27, 4 yrs older than me. We were together for 2 years, it felt like true love, he always hinted about the future together we had plans made. We didn't see each other for 2 weeks, due to exams, and he barely texted me. Last week, exams over...
A. 26 January 2011: If this happened to me I'd feel like crap too. I'd probably contact him and throw his own words back in his face. "Clubbing, hooking up with other girls. Nice euphemism for 'studying'. If this is your way of 'focusing on Uni' you'll never get a ... (read in full...)
I'm devastated, what can I do? He's blocked from his life over an email.
Q. He saw an email to my ex - it was bad. I admit that. But it wasn't from present day! And although he saw it recently, before that he saw my messages telling the ex to leave me alone cuz I was happy with my boyfriend. The email was from a stage in ...
A. 26 January 2011: The situation isn't entirely clear to me, so please elaborate on the following:
You've been with your bf for 6 years. So that ex you sent e-mails to was your bf when you were +/- 16. Why is he still in your life after all these years? Why do you c... (read in full...)
He is choosing his mates over a special weekend I planned for us ages ago!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend since august 2009 and met him on holiday. I originally lived in Southampton, and he lives in Kent. In June 2009 I decided that I will move up to Kent to make the relationship work, so had left my friends and fami...
A. 26 January 2011: OP, you said you're pretty much the only one that knows of the situation. Why? Why not ask if the stag do can be planned on another day? Can you contact the one arranging the whole thing? That's not an unreasonable request at all and if there's a ... (read in full...)
Why am I always alone?
Q. Where do I start off? I'm just always aloneeeeeeeeee! I'm pushing 20 and I'm a very pretty girl. But I want a boyfriend. I don't get it, I only had 1 boyfriend and ugh that was when I was 17. I don't care for him at all. But I want male attention, I ...
A. 24 January 2011: Okay, you lost me here. So you want a guy because you need a change of scenery? You want to cuddle but you don't want to fall in love? You want to flirt and have sex and have this guy come along on parties and dates? That's not a boyfriend, that's a ... (read in full...)
Why am I always alone?
Q. Where do I start off? I'm just always aloneeeeeeeeee! I'm pushing 20 and I'm a very pretty girl. But I want a boyfriend. I don't get it, I only had 1 boyfriend and ugh that was when I was 17. I don't care for him at all. But I want male attention, I ...
A. 24 January 2011: You know, guys are easily intimidated by pretty girls. Just like some girls think pretty guys are out of their league, guys can can have the same thing. And then they don't even bother. There was this interview with a gorgeous model from a while ... (read in full...)
Why am I always alone?
Q. Where do I start off? I'm just always aloneeeeeeeeee! I'm pushing 20 and I'm a very pretty girl. But I want a boyfriend. I don't get it, I only had 1 boyfriend and ugh that was when I was 17. I don't care for him at all. But I want male attention, I ...
A. 23 January 2011: OFirst off: lose the exclamation point that’s constantly hovering above your head. If you seem desperate guys will avoid you. Even if you think you don’t show it, you do. People are perceptive when it comes to that. Guys don’t want to fill the void ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I cheated on her with over 30 prostitutes?
Q. I'm 35, my wife 36, we have 2 kids, married for 7 years. Before our kids born we have really great relationship and have sex every day. Sine she got pregnant the first kid her interest for sex declined sharply. No matter what I tried the most we can ...
A. 22 January 2011: Chigirl, you're right, we are (or atleast I am) ganging up on the OP. The problem with text as a medium is that you miss the context that face to face contact gives you. The follow-up didn't sound sincere to me at all, which is what propelled me to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hides texts from her "friend"!
Q. I've been with my partner for a little over a year now and we live together. She is 7 years older than I am, but all in all I would say we have a great relationship; I really love her and she tells me that she loves me all the time. However recently ...
A. 21 January 2011: Well OP, it doesn´t sound to me like she´s making a good case for herself. This on itself would be enough for me to end it.
If you want to talk to her about it, I would say something along these lines:
"You hid those texts and lied to me. And ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I cheated on her with over 30 prostitutes?
Q. I'm 35, my wife 36, we have 2 kids, married for 7 years. Before our kids born we have really great relationship and have sex every day. Sine she got pregnant the first kid her interest for sex declined sharply. No matter what I tried the most we can ...
A. 20 January 2011: Op, are you are trying to downplay what you did by telling us you didn't enjoy all the sex you had with those whores? That you hurt yourself doing it, that you didn't want to? Well, noone forced you. YOU made that choice. You didn't hurt yourself ... (read in full...)
Can I stand up to these girls bullying my friend?
Q. one of my friends is a girl and really pretty, nice smart etc and most of the boys have crushes on her but becasue she so shy and wont stand up to the girls they treat her like rubbish and make her think shes not pretty and that shes stupid and ...
A. 20 January 2011: I usually don´t reply twice in a thread if there isn´t a follow up from the OP, but I had to put this in:
Do NOT tell a teacher. I've done that in the past and it made it so much worse because most teachers don't have a clue what to do against ... (read in full...)
Can I stand up to these girls bullying my friend?
Q. one of my friends is a girl and really pretty, nice smart etc and most of the boys have crushes on her but becasue she so shy and wont stand up to the girls they treat her like rubbish and make her think shes not pretty and that shes stupid and ...
A. 19 January 2011: Having been badly bullied in the past, I think I can give you some advice. On the one hand I think it's nice to stand up for her when you're with her, but at the same time you need to watch out for the knight-in-shining-armor effect, which like ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hides texts from her "friend"!
Q. I've been with my partner for a little over a year now and we live together. She is 7 years older than I am, but all in all I would say we have a great relationship; I really love her and she tells me that she loves me all the time. However recently ...
A. 19 January 2011: Something's up, that's for certain. This is not you making things bigger than they are. Talk to her, like dirtball said and if she gets really defensive you'll have your answer. ... (read in full...)
My partner wants to watch me have sex with another man. I'd rather have sex with me ex and tape it!
Q. I am currently in an open relationship and my partner said he wants me have sex with another man while he watches,i am very doubtful about doing this as it may end the good thing we both share.i want to suggest that he and i watch a homemade movie ...
A. 19 January 2011: Well, the whole idea of an open relationship sounds like a bad idea to me to start with. But if you're afraid of the consequences of sleeping with someone else (in essence this means you're not really okay with the whole 'open relationship') I would ... (read in full...)
She ditched me and now I'm not interested in prolonging the agony by meeting one last time, what do you think of my plan?
Q. S and I had been dating for a while (3 years) and everything was great - no fights ever (seriously) and deeply in love (first love). Six months ago she went away to university and but we stayed strong until Christmas,...when things went down...
A. 19 January 2011: Kind of you, that "wish you the best" at the end. I probably wouldn't do that, but that's just me. As for the text, that sounds about right. I would erase the "thing" from the meet up, because it sounds off. Other than that it seems good. Go for it!... (read in full...)
How do I ignore this woman and all her antics?
Q. I fell pregnant and the father of my baby denied paternity of the baby, he has now started dating someone i work with and (truly and honestly) i dont have a problem with their relationship, the problem i have is that this girl seem to be boasting ...
A. 19 January 2011: Ofcourse I do not know the whole story behind this, but judging from what you've written, this is what I'd do:
Smile at her whenever she mocks you because clearly she is only mocking herself. Let's face it, a guy who impregnates a girl and then... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I cheated on her with over 30 prostitutes?
Q. I'm 35, my wife 36, we have 2 kids, married for 7 years. Before our kids born we have really great relationship and have sex every day. Sine she got pregnant the first kid her interest for sex declined sharply. No matter what I tried the most we can ...
A. 19 January 2011: Well, I'll give you one thing: you have guts posting this.
But really, why don't you divorce her? She deserves a much better man than you. You're talking about having a guilty conscious but I don't see how if you allowed yourself to have sex with... (read in full...)
She ditched me and now I'm not interested in prolonging the agony by meeting one last time, what do you think of my plan?
Q. S and I had been dating for a while (3 years) and everything was great - no fights ever (seriously) and deeply in love (first love). Six months ago she went away to university and but we stayed strong until Christmas,...when things went down...
A. 18 January 2011: OP, I don't think you'd be happy with yourself afterwards if you act like someone you're not. I get the temptation is high, especially after what she did, but I highly advice against lowering yourself to her level.
That said, being curt with her... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 16 January 2011: Look OP, you simply can't always get what you want. That's life, kid. Deal with it or she and the family will be right to think ill of you. ... (read in full...)
She ditched me and now I'm not interested in prolonging the agony by meeting one last time, what do you think of my plan?
Q. S and I had been dating for a while (3 years) and everything was great - no fights ever (seriously) and deeply in love (first love). Six months ago she went away to university and but we stayed strong until Christmas,...when things went down...
A. 16 January 2011: OP, I think your plan is right on. Screw closure, I don't believe in final meet ups. What's the use of talking things through when the relationship is over? That would be like pouring salt in a wound.
Like you said, you're not her puppet and she ... (read in full...)
Do women respect guys who don't push for sex, or do they think they're wimps?
Q. In brief I know a girl who I have been out with a few times, sort of on a friendly basis.I have never ever pushed for any kind of physical involvement,and whenever we go out I just take her home and wave good night. But I know she has begun relation...
A. 16 January 2011: So many girls, so many preferences...
For me though, I like to take it slow. When a guy doesn't push for sex, I have more respect for him immediately. No offence to the one-night-standers out there, but that's just how I feel. I want to get to r... (read in full...)
Virgin at 22... thoughts?
Q. Hi Guys, so im just wondering what people think. I'm almost(!!) 22 and im still a virgin. I mean i have done fooling around with guys and i have had lots of boyfriends but i have never had sex with any of them. Im not sure what the issue is, im not...
A. 16 January 2011: hey there! You're not alone! If you brose the enormous virginity section of this site you will see there are A LOT of people your age who still have their V card. The problem with society today is that somehow it's become acceptable or atleast ... (read in full...)
I'm scared he won't go out with me if he knows my real age!
Q. Ok....... I need some help... I am a gay guy and have started taklking to this guy online, who I am really interested in, but theirs a couple of issues. To get on these websites I've lied about my age, I'm 17 but I say I'm 18 to get on these web...
A. 15 January 2011: I don't see the problem here. What difference does a year make? Find another place to meet. Simple. ... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 15 January 2011: You know what you should do. You're just hoping that one of us gives the snake in your pants the green light so you can justify it to yourself later. Yeah, well it ain't gonna happen. ... (read in full...)
Electra complex. When Daddy/daughter relationships go too far?
Q. I am 23 years old and the guy that I am currently dating is thirty nine years old(he is divorced)he has a 9-yr old daughter that is a sweetheart, he gets to see her every other weekend and Im totally supportive of him being there for her, we have ...
A. 15 January 2011: I missed the mention of his age and now that I read that, I have to adjust my statement a bit. I think it's too big. Do yourself a favor and end it because this is all it will ever be. If you're not happy now, you will not be it in the future with ... (read in full...)
My sister is on her 15th boyfriend since we went back to school in September... should I talk to her about it?
Q. My sister is on her 15th boyfriend since we went back to school in September. She's only 13! and she's getting quite a reputation. I often hear her getting called a slut, even though she says she hasn't had sex with any of them It took her only tw...
A. 15 January 2011: When I was 13 I ignored every piece of sound advice people gave me. You can try, but I doubt you'll succeed. At that age, she feels she's got the whole world figured out.
If you do tell her, be curt about it. Short, easily digestible comments... (read in full...)
Electra complex. When Daddy/daughter relationships go too far?
Q. I am 23 years old and the guy that I am currently dating is thirty nine years old(he is divorced)he has a 9-yr old daughter that is a sweetheart, he gets to see her every other weekend and Im totally supportive of him being there for her, we have ...
A. 15 January 2011: OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all. Like you said, there's a line and he seems to be crossing it. Gushing over your children is fine--almost every parent does this-- but if there's nothing more to his life than his daughter, I think he's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have cyber sex, but I'm concerned that if he records the session, it will leak out!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship and he wants me to have cyber-sex with him. Its been a year into our relationship and I'm not sure of the whole thing. What if he records the session just for his sake and it gets leaked by ...
A. 12 January 2011: Oh one thing: if he thinks cams are safe, he's got another thing coming. There'a huge number of cams that get hacked. They can record the image even if the cam isn't active. That means that if you ever sit behind your comp/laptop in your undies or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have cyber sex, but I'm concerned that if he records the session, it will leak out!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship and he wants me to have cyber-sex with him. Its been a year into our relationship and I'm not sure of the whole thing. What if he records the session just for his sake and it gets leaked by ...
A. 12 January 2011: "He finds it very insulting if I refuse since he thinks I dont trust him."
Haha, that's like the number one excuse in the list of top 100 clichés.
Look you're obviously a smart girl, so don't fall for an easy trick like this because right no... (read in full...)
My best friend has no shot with this guy, but I do!
Q. my best friend (Sara) likes this boy(evan) who goes to a different school than us. evan is best friends with kyle, who is dating another friend of ours, jackie. so since october (its january now),sara has been trying to get with evan, but she's ...
A. 11 January 2011: Okay, so you're basing the idea that you "have a shot with this kid" on hearsay from others? Yeah, very reliable info.
Anyway, you say you didn't "go for him at all" because of your best friend. But now you think you have a shot of getting ... (read in full...)
Why is it okay for bigger women to bash slim women, but not the other way around?
Q. This is something I notice a lot, and I find it very insulting. I've always been slim, naturaly slim. I have never dieted or watched my weight and I'm a healthy size 8. It seems that if a slim girl is ever to speak bad of a fat girl, they are given ...
A. 11 January 2011: There's a simple explanation for this:
These days, being fat is camouflaged with many nice euphemisms like "curvy" and "sizes for real women". The reason behind this is because in the commercial world, the fashion industry and Hollywood, being fa... (read in full...)
He wants to video tape us having sex and I'm not comfortable with it
Q. Okay so I've dating my boyfriend for 5 months I love him more then anything. I'm in college and he works. He's 34 years old and I'm 19 years old. I know there is a big gap but I love him and I feel like he does loves me back. so we had issues in the ...
A. 11 January 2011: Well, the guy obviously did some good things for you. That said, you should always be wary of sextapes. These things are known to end up on the internet. Is there a legit reason why you should do this other than to just please him? Ask him why he ... (read in full...)
He wants to video tape us having sex and I'm not comfortable with it
Q. Okay so I've dating my boyfriend for 5 months I love him more then anything. I'm in college and he works. He's 34 years old and I'm 19 years old. I know there is a big gap but I love him and I feel like he does loves me back. so we had issues in the ...
A. 10 January 2011: I don´t think it´s a good idea at all. I never understood the purpose of such a tape: why watch yourself having sex if you can get sex with that person right at that moment? Why does he want a sex tape? Nostalgic reasons? I doubt it.
You have to ... (read in full...)
Should I bother considering him in my future if he doesn't consider me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months, we are both university students, though I graduate this year and he graduates next year. Obviously I am thinking about what my options are in terms of finding a job when I graduate and where I would like ...
A. 5 January 2011: I don´t really see the problem here. Decisions haven´t been made yet and it´s logical he´s after something that brings in the green stuff, as money is also what you build your future with. He´s open minded which is a good thing when it comes to ... (read in full...)
Guys,what makes you decide to have a relationship / a hook up (sex only), or just to be friends with a girl?
Q. Guys,what makes you decide to have a relationship,a hook up (sex only),to befriend with a girl? 1. If a girl is beautiful or sexy,but she has a poor personality or she's a b**ch,would you like to have a relationship with her?or just a hook up?o...
A. 2 January 2011: Question for the OP: What is the point of asking a question when you've got it all figured out already?
... (read in full...)
I'm a 40 year old virgin!!
Q. I think I may have blown it, so to speak. I am dealing with and trying to conquer social anxiety and other social challenges. Though through these challenges, I have remained a virgin and I am 40! I am worried that when I do start a relation...
A. 1 January 2011: From a female's perspective, I would find it strange that a man of your age hasn't had sex yet. I would not condemn you for it, but I would be surprised.
I would tackle the issue as soon as possible, though. Your virginity points at unresolv... (read in full...)
Why does everyone let the cheater off so easily?
Q. Ugg! I am tired of reading posts that blame the cheatee rather than the cheater. That's ridiculous! The cheater is in charge of their actions. I keep reading people cheat because they are lacking something in their relationship....that is an excuse. ...
A. 1 January 2011: Thanks for the follow-up, OP. But I think you´re confusing cause with excuse. There's a difference.
It is indeed true people who cheat tend do it because something´s lacking in their relationship, often sex. Now, this is a cause, a reason, ... (read in full...)
Why does everyone let the cheater off so easily?
Q. Ugg! I am tired of reading posts that blame the cheatee rather than the cheater. That's ridiculous! The cheater is in charge of their actions. I keep reading people cheat because they are lacking something in their relationship....that is an excuse. ...
A. 1 January 2011: I don't see many posts blaming the person who was cheated on. Actually, I can't think of any. Please point out the questions you've noticed this reaction in.
Most of the posts excusing this kind of behavior come from the cheaters themselv... (read in full...)
We have great chemistry. I like him. But what are your thoughts on fact he has no real friends?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a very close friend and we hve great chemistry. He has liked me for a while now he said, and he would love to go out with me. I told him I'd think about it, but I'm sure I'll say yes because he is such a great funny and cute ...
A. 31 December 2010: I understand why this may worry you but do not judge him for not having friends.
I was in his position a few years ago, when my group of friends abandoned me because of us failing a huge group assignment (and thus failing the class as well). M... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 31 December 2010: I just want to add that it also depends on how she views the world. My own mother feels that drug addicts and those with mental disorders like bipolar thrive on society´s understanding and that they should be dealt with harshly.
If your mom has ... (read in full...)
Is my ex-teacher crossing a line with our friendship?
Q. So.., this is a little longer than I intended, haha, sorry. I left Junior High just this summer and am now in grade ten (Grade ten...eep!). Anyway, there's this teacher at my old school who is, in every way possible, perfect. Now, I know that soun...
A. 30 December 2010: Tough one because it depends on interpretation.
I've had several teachers/instructors make comments to me like your teacher is doing, but I know they never meant any harm with it. How do I put this...People will always recognize beauty and attr... (read in full...)
Should I tell dad that his new fiancee is the same girl I had sex with at a drunken frat party?
Q. i met this really hot girl at a frat party and we got drunk and had sex. she was a year older and graduated a few months later so nothing after that happened. my parents got divorced a year later and when my dad started dating he got engaged with ...
A. 29 December 2010: Noone bothered to ask the important question: how long have they been together and how long have you known? It just seems strange to me that you would wait for them to get engaged to drop the bomb.
Normally I would say leave it, but this could tu... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 28 December 2010: She will accept him in her own time, not yours. She does not owe him anything and he's not precious to her in the way that you are. In other words, he doesn't mean anything to her and the only reason he's still in her life is you. She loves you, ... (read in full...)
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