Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 1 December 2009: I am glad to hear she is keeping herself (and you) busy. You are both in my thoughts, and prayers. ... (read in full...)
Help! I am in love with my best friend's sister but I don't know how to tell her.
Q. I am in love with my best friend's sister but I don't know how to tell her. Any ideas?...
A. 30 November 2009: Sometimes actions speak louder than words, so smile, be friendly, ask her open ended questions about herself. Just the general friendly stuff, and, depending on her reaction, take it from there.... (read in full...)
My friends all went to Malawi but I am home alone
Q. Ive been feeling so so down recently! I guess my self confidence was absolutly crushed when i was turned down from a school malawi project - a project were 25 people head to malawi and help renovate a school or building etc and basically make a huge ...
A. 30 November 2009: In these situations there are usually a limited number of spaces available, and there are always going to be people hurt because they werent accepted.
THe people who decide who goes and who stays have a very difficult job. Its not simply a case o... (read in full...)
I married in haste, and now he has changed for the worse
Q. Hi, I feel kind of weird writing this but I have no one else to talk to and I seriously don't know what else to do. I am 20 years old and just got married Oct. 9th at a courthouse to the guy I was in AIT training all summer with (for the army.) H...
A. 30 November 2009: I think you need to steel yourself and call your mother. Tell her you have been unhappy since day one, and how he has changed. Tell her you might need some help getting out of this marriage, and that you would like to be able to come home until ... (read in full...)
I miss my ex so much, but she wont answer my calls
Q. I miss my girlfriend so much. My girl friend and I just broke up after about 3 years. I miss her alot it hurts me not to be around her we have broken up before and we have gotten back togther but this time feels diffrent she usally calls and we ...
A. 30 November 2009: I think your gut feeling that this time it is truly over are correct.
It's time to accept this relationship is ended and its time for you to pick yourself up and move on with your life.
good luck... (read in full...)
He stopped all contact with me. Why could he not at least have told me where it all went wrong?
Q. I'm 44 and divorced for 5 years. While on vacation in Florida (I live in New York) I met this guy on the first day there and we spent the rest of my vacation together. It was great, we instantly hit if off, we had so much in common, we talked ...
A. 30 November 2009: Oh the cad!
t's not nice to leave you dangling like that, but at least after the Thanksgiving text you know that he is alive and well, somewhere.
As to why he didnt call you to let you know what was going on, obviously he is a coward, and ... (read in full...)
I can't just be his friend... it hurts too much...
Q. I am 15 years old and me and my boyfriend split up about a month ago and i thought things were going to be fine. I started seeing this other lad and things seem good to start with. Then all my feelings for my ex came back and i split up with my ...
A. 30 November 2009: You need to accept your ex boyfriend doesnt want to get back into a relationship with you. Then you need to decide if you can accept being just friends or not. If friends, then build a happy caring friendship, if you cant, you say thanks, but no ... (read in full...)
I so want us to get back together and be exclusive but he doesn't know if he can do this...
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend and he was crushed. A few months later, we still were talking/rekindling things. I spent Thanksgiving break at his apartment with him, and we realized we are totally not over each other. We had agreed to sleep with other ...
A. 30 November 2009: Nothing, there isnt much you can do, you have told him you want to get back together with him, you are aware he is interested in somebody else, you have told him he cant have both of you, and his response was that he didnt know what he wanted to do ... (read in full...)
Please help, I need to get this idiot out of my head.
Q. Hi , Yes iv written before when my then boyfriend was being bad, distant and cold. He kept calling i rejected the calls and avoided the texts. then he turned up at my doorstep a couple of days later begging for anothr chance and I gave him one (de...
A. 30 November 2009: Wow, he really has done a job on your head hasnt he. Now you need to view him as a bad habit you want to kick. Sit down and work out what you are usually doing when you think of him, and then change the way you do things. By this I mean, if you ... (read in full...)
Emotional and physical love... the differences?
Q. For a man, to live a life without ejeculating is hard, I am in a relationship with a celibate woman who finds it no problem, that is the difference, men need to express physically their love, women are quite happy having no physical relationship... ...
A. 30 November 2009: You are generalising, for SOME men it is hard to live a life without ejeculating, for SOME women it is easy to have no physical relationship.
And why? Because we are all individuals and no one situation or issue fits each and every one of us ex... (read in full...)
Your opinions on this... How can I help my friend to see sense?
Q. One of my best mates has been sleeping with her ex bf for god nows how many months now, and we have only recently found out about it, The thing is her ex has a gf who is pregnent with his baby and is due this december, I have told my mate to sto...
A. 30 November 2009: You know the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". You can talk to your mate until you are blue in the face, but until she is willing to listen it will be as if her ears and eyes are clogged up tight.
ALl y... (read in full...)
How do I change my jealous feelings?
Q. five months ago I ended it with my boyfriend of 7 years. He had a huge problem with drugs and could be aggressive and abusive. My family begged me to leave him and so finally I did. It felt a relief and I really felt I had moved on. That was until I ...
A. 30 November 2009: I think you should be thanking your lucky stars you managed to get this man out of your life.
The hankering for him now that he has a new relationship is quite normal, when a relationship ends we dont only mourn the loss of the person, but also... (read in full...)
I feel there is so much still left unsaid between us, where do we go from here?
Q. Hi, I would really appreciate some advice. My ex and I were together for 6 years, all lovely at first but he was going through a divorce at the time which took a toll on him individually and us as a couple. It didn't help that he can be verbally...
A. 30 November 2009: Hi Beth
there could be a reason your words are getting stuck in your throat, maybe they aren't supposed to come out.
You seem to be taking all the blame for his violent outbursts and his insecurities. I am wondering if you are merely lonel... (read in full...)
My husbands wants to reverse his "op"
Q. the bloke iv been with for the past 8 years was forced into having a vasectomy from his ex of 10 years,it was a case of if he didnt have it done then she told him she would end the relationship,when he did have it done she still ended the the ...
A. 30 November 2009: I feel that due to the seriousness of your question the best place for you to go to ask your questions, and get the correct answers, would, as a first step, be your GP.
... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my girl, but my Mom might be watching
Q. I have a date saturday night with my girlfreind. I have dated her before and we broke up. We got back together about 2 months ago via email and have been talking on the phone. We are going to the movies and my mother is chaproning us. I want to let ...
A. 30 November 2009: I am sure that if your Mom is willing to chaperone you and your girl, she will be smart and discreet enough to give you a few moments with her head turned away so that you can get in a quick kiss or too.
Oh, and may I say, hats off to your Mom... (read in full...)
I am angry at rapist's low sentence
Q. Hey people. I just got something that's kind of bothering me so I figured that I would post it on here. I just found out something and I am not entirely sure how to react. I have known my girlfriend for two years and I can honestly say that I have ...
A. 30 November 2009: It is very common to feel anger and even betrayed when the courts bring down a sentence that we feel doesnt fit the crime.
8 months does seem a short sentence, but without having access to a legal mind and the court transcripts we are not able... (read in full...)
He wanted sex and I said no, so he broke up with me. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Hi friends, I need to talk to you,I would like some advice and but I don't want to go into full detail, but hopefully enough for you to help me. I had been dating this guy for 2 months until tonight. He ended things, because we were not havi...
A. 30 November 2009: I think you both have such different views on things such as marriage and sex that the relationship would have ended sooner or later.
If he was only hanging around for the possibility of sex you have done the right thing. ALthough it can be a ver... (read in full...)
What to do about his bad boy behaviour...im having his baby...
Q. My boyfriend/father of my unborn baby is a big pothead. I get so mad because he constantly smokes around me. He stays drunk Thursday - Monday. He has no job but is in college 2 days a week. When he is by himself he doesn't smoke weed as much as when ...
A. 30 November 2009: Oh yeah, he is going to be in the baby's life no matter what? Tell him the baby exists NOW, tell him his smoking is harming the baby NOW, and if he is sure he isnt going to be a dead beat dad the time to start is NOW.
And if he wont shape up... (read in full...)
How can this be rape when I'm of legal age? His grandmother says she's going to call the cops!
Q. I'm 17. I keep getting caught having sex with my boyfriend by his grandparents. He's 19. Yes he lives with his gparents they need help around the house. His grandmother said tht if we have sex then thts rape. How can this be rape when I'm at a legal ...
A. 30 November 2009: Well Hello, have a little respect for your elders.
His grandmother doesnt approve of you having sex at her place. She doesnt like catching you at it.
Why are you and he persisting at having sex at their house when you are being caught out... (read in full...)
How do suggest to my girlfriend that I'd prefer it if she shaved down there...?
Q. I was intimate with my girlfriend the other night, it was great. But her it was really hairy down there and i thought it as a turn off. I'd prefer it shaved like, it would feel 'nicer'. But i dont know how to go about asking her. It's no big deal, I ...
A. 29 November 2009: Think about it for a moment, hairless "down there" is usually for little immature girls, maybe before you ask your girlfriend to shave you should have your testicles waxed as an example ..... I am sure it would feel "nicer" for her... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to go with my instincts and look in his phone?
Q. I've been dating a wonderful guy for about 5 months and the other day for some reason, I looked at his text messages while he was in the shower, I found some messages from a girl who I think is an ex. She accused him of cheating on her, and she ...
A. 29 November 2009: Usually I would say snooping in phones and emails is not the right thing to do, but there must have been other reasons for you to act on your instincts, try and think what the signs were.
I think he might be mad because he has been caught o... (read in full...)
I say Hi but he acts shy
Q. can someone help i like this boy but hes kepts ignoring me for no reason iv asked him if iv done anything wrong and he says i havent at first if he saw me he would have waved or smiled or said hi but now he says nothing and if i see him he looks ...
A. 29 November 2009: Maybe he is unsure how to act now that you have expressed an interest in him, he seems very shy, just continue to be friendly, but back off just a little bit, dont expect too much from him, adopt a waiting game, and just wait to see what happens.... (read in full...)
My older workmate is flirting with me, and other colleagues are asking questions
Q. I have become friends with a man who is 10 years older than me. We work together and have gone out together several times as friends (meals, games, etc). For the last six months we have been play-flirting. I like him but didn't take anything ...
A. 29 November 2009: I would not go away for a weekend with this man, a weekend away usually means a shared bed and shared breakfast.
he is probably flattered at the thought a young woman is interested, if you are not interested you need to let him know, and as for w... (read in full...)
She called me her problem, I want to be her boyfriend
Q. i have this girlfriend(not yet official) who's very cranky. it was 6 AM in the morning and i woke up and i got a msg from her saying that she can't sleep. so i called and asked her why. i was kinda out of my mind cuz i'm still sleepy and at on...
A. 29 November 2009: Cranky hardly covers it.
She woke you up because she couldnt sleep and then was cranky because you were still a little dozy?
Are you sure you want to make up? Your life might be easier if she stays cranky and you stay away.
You need to wor... (read in full...)
I want to be friends with my married lovers step son
Q. i`m a widow of almost 10 months i have been seeing a married man for about 4 months we have kept a low profile as far as his family is concerned, (no small children)now he is telling me he loves me and i believe him, he also states his wife is ...
A. 29 November 2009: Do you really expect this man to leave a disabled wife for you?
Do you really think that disabled wifes son would want to extend the hand of friendship to a woman who is sleeping with his mother's husband?
I think this man is playing you for ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait, I have given him a week already
Q. My boyfriend said he needs time . That he needs to become a better person. We been having problems we been together for almost four years.I texted him after a week of not calling me and he says he loves me and misses me but says staying apart is the ...
A. 29 November 2009: I honesty think that you should not wait around for him to decide what he is going to do.
The fact he doesnt want any contact from you is a strong hint that the relationship is probably finished, and all that is left are a few death throws. ... (read in full...)
My university exams start soon and I have left it too late to study
Q. i am doing mba from a well known university....i got the paid seat for 2 million dollars(due to tough competition) as my grades have always been horrible ..... I messed up in my high school and have never been even satisfactory in my academic...
A. 29 November 2009: I don't understand why you would pay for a uni course when your grades were too bad to get you into it the usual way.
Surely your bad grades were some sort of hint?
And, guess what, the person you refer to as the dumbest, might actually have be... (read in full...)
She says one thing, he says another, who do I believe?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 29 years old woman, divorced with 2 kids. I met this guy almost 3 years ago and after 2 years he confessed me that he was still seeing his exgirlfriend behind my back. He accepted he was wrong and promised to change everythi...
A. 29 November 2009: I think he is playing with you. I don't believe his ex is his ex, I believe they are still sleeping together, I believe you are his "bit on the side". He lies about calling her, so why wouldnt he be lying about sleeping with her?
How do you know... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so jealous of my best friend!
Q. Please help... i really don't know what to do... I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and a half now, and so far, we've never had any major problem. But there's one problem i can't solve. I have a best friend (a guy, by the way)and my bf is ...
A. 29 November 2009: When one of my son's married, the bride's best friend stood next to her, in the place of a bridesmaid. The brides mother was concerned about the unconventionality of it, the friend was a bit concerned about the appearance of it, but I fully ... (read in full...)
She won't accept that I love her
Q. My girlfriend keeps saying I don't love her. Its getting annoying, because I keep telling her that I do, but she just responds with "nope". What can I say to prove that I love her so she will stop. I love her very much, and I wish she knew I did!...
A. 29 November 2009: In response to one of the other answers, I just want to say that I dont believe any body should have to buy gifts to prove they love somebody else.
... (read in full...)
How can I make him stop touching me?
Q. I don't know what to do about this situation! First off Im 15 and live with my mom. My mom's boyfriend recently moved in, and he's got this friend of his. This friend is 23 I think? I don't really know, but 23-25 years old. First time I met him I ...
A. 29 November 2009: If your mother wont believe or protect you please go to your nearest police station and report it now. If your country has a "kids help line" ring them as well.
I am sorry if my reply sounds terse, but better than have me get angry at this man... (read in full...)
I really like him and he's giving me a 2 week chance to make it work! What can I do to make him really like me?
Q. okkayy well im going out with this guy and i really like him but he doesnt really have feelings for me like that but hes giving me a chance and after 2 weeks if it doesnt work out hel break up with me so what can i do to make a good impression on ...
A. 29 November 2009: okay, if my answer doesnt make sense, come back and I will try and change the words.
This seems to me like an impossible task, if he doesnt like you now, how can that change within two weeks? You cannot perform miracles, and magic wands just don... (read in full...)
I want to give him a 'hint' how can I do that?
Q. ok aunts heresthe problem, i really like my best friend and all the advice ive got is "ask him out" "be brave" "be confident in yourself" but then i asked some people on here and most have said boys like to do the chasing so i was just wondering if ...
A. 28 November 2009: The best hint is to take any opportunity to be in his company, to smile at him, be happy around him, talk to him, ask his opinion or advise, and then let nature take it's course.
If nothing happens after a while maybe he isnt ready for a girlfrie... (read in full...)
My friends say he is a player, who should I believe?
Q. im only 13 but i am going out with a boy and we have been going out for a few days but everyone is telling me that he is a player and that he will break my heart but that isnt the side i see, he is really sweet and does so much for me and always ...
A. 28 November 2009: Because you have only been going out with this boy for a few days I would hold off on making judgment either way.
Dont take things to quickly and dont try to rush the relationship along.
Your friends are your friends for a reason, they car... (read in full...)
She's just too shy!
Q. My friends shy and she asked my cousin if he wanted to hangout because she likes him and he said yes. Her only problem is she doesn't know how to talk to a guy she likes! How can she talk to him comfortably? Without feeling awkward....
A. 28 November 2009: Most people are a little awkward talking to new people, especially when there is the added factor of "liking" involved.
She could try asking questions that cant be answered with a "yes" or "no". Dont ask difficult questions, or questions that dea... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a womanizer then gave his wife my email and password to show her the proof
Q. Hello, This is just a follow up of what I have written earlier. I got involved with a 68 yrs old man thru internet online and he is married. He is a womanizer, but still I loved him and even learned to love his imperfections. Up front I told him...
A. 28 November 2009: Oh my goodness, if you have given this woman your email address and password there is no telling the damage she can do if she so choses.
Get onto your ISP (internet provider) immediately and tell them what has happened, request they assist y... (read in full...)
She won't accept that I love her
Q. My girlfriend keeps saying I don't love her. Its getting annoying, because I keep telling her that I do, but she just responds with "nope". What can I say to prove that I love her so she will stop. I love her very much, and I wish she knew I did!...
A. 28 November 2009: She does sound annoying. If she is too stubborn to accept your word for it you are either going to have to learn to put up with her very negative attitude, and her refusal to meet you half way on this issue and decide if this is what you want from ... (read in full...)
I want to emigrate to US, but hubby wont budge
Q. Hello aunts I have been hugely lucky to have had a job that allowed me 2 visit NYC, I have been in live with the place since I can remember, I think it's cause my grandad was a seaman and visited NYC hundreads of times and would come back to ...
A. 28 November 2009: It's big move for a family, and moving to live in a different country is a lot different to receiving a few novelties as a child, or a few short term breaks.
If you are serious about moving you will need to present your arguments in a logical ... (read in full...)
I'm tormented by the fact that she's had a 'bigger' man than I
Q. My girlfriend has just recently told me (because my dum ass ask) that she was with a guy so thick she felt pain and once had to see the doctor. to me is like (lucky bastard) i guess i think that's like every man's dream to be able to just do that to ...
A. 28 November 2009: Oh yeah, wouldn't it be great to have a big penis. It might hurt your girlfriend and send her to the doctor, but at least you would be able to show off in front of the other guys!
Come on now, which is more important?... (read in full...)
Will I ever learn to live alone?
Q. I'm 18 years old, never been kissed, not pretty, very chubby and I'm asking: Will I ever learn to live alone? Because of my appearance probably no one will ever want something more than be friend with me....
A. 27 November 2009: I am not sure how chubby, chubby is, but there is no reason why you should be thinking that you will be on your own for the next 60 or so years.
Whether you end up in a long term, committed relationship or not doesnt depend on your appearan... (read in full...)
Will a married man ever leave his wife if he doesn't have any children?
Q. Back in June I met a man at a convention while on a business trip, although it was just friendly. We exchanged email addresses to be in contact about work-related questions. At the time I was engaged to be married (I have been with him for 3 ...
A. 27 November 2009: I think the problems within your marriage are contributing to your feelings for this other, married man.
Why not leave the other man out of the equasion while you sort out your own life, or are you afraid that if you leave your (unfulfi... (read in full...)
Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 23 November 2009: You wife may need some counselling, it seems her mental state is not as healthy as her physical.
A friend of mine had both breasts removed late September. Within two weeks of coming home she was out and about doing her normal things, she is getti... (read in full...)
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