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My friends all went to Malawi but I am home alone

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2009)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ive been feeling so so down recently! I guess my self confidence was absolutly crushed when i was turned down from a school malawi project - a project were 25 people head to malawi and help renovate a school or building etc and basically make a huge change in so many peoples lives. ALL of my best friends were accepted. This makes me feel like im rubbish compared to them...

It has been over 2 months and it is everywhere. everywhere i turn theres malawi! theres no escape so i cant even let myself forget about it! i actually feel depressed.Sometimes i just cry at night and my mum has noticed and its bringing everyone else around me down.

i want to go to the man who chose who was accepted into the project and have words. i want to let him know how this has made me feel!

should i do this or am i making a huge mistake by making myself look selfish and needy?

He did tell me however that i wasnt accepted because he wanted people who were 'up there' and some who were 'down there'. I just happened to be one of those 'up there' who didnt get in. Thos who are down there by the way are those who teachers suggested "would be a huge mistake to allow into the team".

of course they were right. they have already caused havoc in the school - vandalism, drunkeness etc. Yet, here i am being the best pupil ever and i get rejected and they dont?!

do you think it will make a difference if i make my viewpoint clear? I dont want him to feel like i'm putting him on a guilt trip by telling him and how im feeling reall low though....

View related questions: best friend, confidence, crush, depressed, drunk

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (30 November 2009):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIn these situations there are usually a limited number of spaces available, and there are always going to be people hurt because they werent accepted.

THe people who decide who goes and who stays have a very difficult job. Its not simply a case of rewarding the good kids, but also having to decide who would gain the most long term benefits, such as the kids you claim act up.

They may appear to be undeserving to you, but they might actually gain a lot more from the experience than somebody who is capable, intelligent and grounded.

We cant always get what we want in this life, if you have exhausted all avenues for a review of the decision I think you are just going to have to accept it as one of those disappointments life throws at us from time to time.

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A female reader, pancakes rule Ireland +, writes (30 November 2009):

pancakes rule agony auntthat man made a mistake picking some of the people he did, but you can't change that.

Telling him how you feel may not change much but you should go for and then he'll know for the future if anything like this comes up again wheather for you and your friends or other people.

If it means that much to you, it really is worth letting him know, just plan out what you'll say beforehand.

good luck, let me know how he takes it if you decide to tell him

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i should also add that it is not till june.. so i have to endure all this malawi stuff in school until then! i cant do it anymore.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i should also add that it is not till june.. so i have to endure all this malawi stuff in school until then! i cant do it anymore.

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