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YEAH we have great sex but is that enough? Does it compensate for the neglect?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, *luv2getdown writes:

After 6 years loving a "badboy", I am still left neglected and lonely. It seems every occasion or event meaningful to me, I end up alone. I am constantly disappointed and p.o'ed. After the steam cools, he always calls or shows up apologetic and seemingly sincere. Til the next time. Well this Valentines was the 4th in a row of NOTHING! Only when I express my anger does he run out to buy a quick fix gift and then assume all is fine. I am forever doing things for him....Sexual favors, buying him things he needs, I bring my own beer, snacks etc. whenever I go to stay at his house. I leave him sweet notes, rent us movies, cook for him, help him with his laundry etc. What do I get??? NOTHING. He says he desperately loves me and cannot live without me but I cannot do this anymore. I became a widow 8 years ago from a man whom adored me and treated me like a queen. How can I go from that to this??? What is wrong with me?? YEAH we have great sex but is that enough? I do love him and I feel we share a bond and friendship no one else understands but I'm tired of not being wooed or never being a priority to him and never being thought of in any way or shown that he does love me!!! Please help, I feel so alone!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

You have a choice. He is not the only man you could have great sex with... but just think another man could offer you that AND the other things that you have so clearly defined as your needs. And so you should !!!! Stop settling for second best - we only have one life. Cherish yours.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2010):

I think the loss of the man who truly loved you perhaps made you a little fearful of picking a guy who you could truly get close to, so you settled for a bad boy. Now though, it's clear perhaps that you are ready to find a guy who does love you again, and this has made you realize that sex is no longer enough. So, this is your moment now to get out there and find a guy who will love you again. Take your time, really get to know men and I wish you all the best.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

You are doing everything for him and he is giving you nothing back, apart from great sex. If the sex alone was enough you wouldn't be feeling like this. Find yourself a man that fills all your needs.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

ummm dump him, find someone who appreciates you

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