A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Few years ago, I had to go through a painful break up from my first serious relationship of 2 years. My ex also immediately started seeing something a month after we split which was very hard for me.But at our friend's party (we were both there as well as his new girlfriend) I met a guy who was to be my best friend and someone who I absolutely adored. But nothing happened between us romantically due the fact it was a long distance friendship and at the time I did not feel ready to get into a relationship. He was respectful, made me feel better about myself and he was someone who I seriously trusted. There was also obvious signs of attraction and interest between us.But last year, we had a falling out because the long distance thing was becoming hard overall. Because of my experience with break ups, I felt that I had to let go of the situation and move on which was no problem. Since then, I started focusing on my future and started university close to the city where my friend live and where we would go out together. When I moved to the city, I then started reminiscing about the time we spent together and going to the places where we used to go then I started to miss him and dream about him. Then all of a sudden, he got in touch with me a few weeks ago saying that he wanted to apologise for his behaviour when we were falling out... Few days later he asked me how things have been etc and he later opened up to me about what happened to him last year with work and how it was a difficult time. He told me that he was going travelling soon for 6 months and he said that would be great to see me but I think we both knew that it was too soon given that no arrangments were made.Now this has all happened, I'm starting to miss him and want to reconcile our friendship over time. Does this sound rational of me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): I have been in situation myself, and opted to reconcile the friendship. It was the best decision I have ever made. Take it slow and see what happens. Be aware though that long distance anything is hard, and there is always a chance of getting hurt. Is that a risk your willing to take. As I said it was the best thing I ever did, but it may not be best for you only that is something you have to figure out yourself. I can only say I was a very similar situation, and it worked out for me. Hope it goes well for you too. Take care
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): Yeah it sounds very rational. It sounds like you had a good friendship until the situation kind of conspired against you and you had a falling out.
I see no reason why you wouldn't resume your friendship.
I will say though, with limited info you have given it seems fine but if you feel there are details which may complicate matters or if you feel there is a big risk of you getting hurt, then you may have to reconsider.
Seeing as he's going away for 6 months, why not keep in casual contact for a while, like pen pals, very relaxed and not too serious and see what happens when he gets back.
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