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Worried my friend has an eating disorder

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Question - (2 April 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello all.

I'm worried my best friend of 11 years may have an eating disorder. She has always been on the plumpish/curvy side but never overweight. She loves her food, especially chocolate and cakes etc and probably kept the weight on because she's pretty lazy and never does much exercise. Recently, however, she has lost a lot of weight and appears very thin. Too thin, I think.

It wasn't me who first noticed this, but my mum. At a school open evening my mum barely recognised her and asked me if she was ok. I guess after seeing her everyday I hadn't noticed her becoming thinner. Then my other close friend confessed to me she'd been worried about her for some time too and that other people outside of our friendship group had voiced their concerns to her after notcing how thin she'd become. Another friend, on the other hand, doesn't think there is anything wrong.

But how is she losing all this weight? She hardly does any exercise apart from recently taking up jogging. When I see her in school she does appear to eat a healthy amount of food, although she has occassionally mentioned what she has had for breakfast/lunch and it does not sound enough to me. For example she once said she'd had 1/4 of a cereal bar, which concerns me.

She has been with her boyfriend for about 10 months and I think he may be one of the reasons she is losing weight. Although he does often shower her with compliments he can also be nasty and insult her jokingly, although I've never heard him say anything about her weight. What I do know is that she is deeply unhappy about how big her breasts are, and the fact that her boyfriend seems more interested in them than her. Is she trying to lose weight so they shrink? She often has people telling her how attractive she is, how nice her legs are etc. but she insists she is fat.

It worries me that I don't know what she does when she's at home - is she eating? And I don't know what to do for the best. Am I just being paranoid or do I have reason enough to do something about it; and if so, what do I do? Do I confront her?

Please help!

View related questions: best friend, breasts, lose weight, overweight

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009):

Thanks to everyone who replied.

After talking to another friend about the situation we decided to talk to her about our concerns. She promised she had not done anything stupid like throwing up but she hadn't been eating as much as usual. And we weren't the first to ask about it - several of her other friends had questioned her about it. We all told her that she needed to stop losing so much weight and start eating a healthy amount of food before it got out of control and she agreed. We're going to be keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't get any thinner. After your advice I'm also going to talk to her about her boyfriend - he's no good for her.

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