A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for 14 years this year. It mostly feels to me that we do nothing but argue most of the time, and over the past few years I have lost all respect for him.We have a 9 year old daughter, and I've decided in the past to stay with my husband for her sake, as I know it will break her heart if we get divorced.The problem is this stupid computer game World of Warcraft. He was obsessed with it for over a year, and in that time he ignored me and our daughter. He keeps saying that he won't play the game as much, and that he will spend more time with our daughter, but he just keeps putting the game before his family over and over again.I'm thinking about leaving him as I feel like it's never going to get any better! I don't mind that he ignores me, as I don't really love him any more, but I've been happy to pretend that we're "happy" for my daughter's sake.The problem is that it doesn't seem to be worth it anymore, he says that he loves our daughter, but if he did he wouldn't keep puttting a dumb game before her! It really upsets her, and she was crying again tonight as he broke his promise again (of not playing the game - and spending more time with her).I really need some advice on what I should do. I've mentioned marriage counselling several times - but he doesn't want to go. I've tried to ask him over and over again to put his family before the stupid game - but he keeps f***ing up!Is it worth staying with him if our daughter is upset anyway, and is in tears when she sees/hears us fight. Or would it be better for her in the long term to grow up without a father?
View related questions:
divorce, world of warcraft Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ShyGuy12345  +, writes (14 October 2010):
hey, i see allot of people have a good answer but i just would like to add to your prob, since ive been a player of wow i know how it works , its a devil of games, it will suck your life while you play it.If this problem between you two is just because of the game then try getting him off the game by some addiction therapy or some, and then see how he will be after that, im not really experienced in relationships but i hope this helped tiny bit :).About the game b t way, while i played it there was nothing else i wanted, basically i didnt want to socialize or anything for that matter other then play WoW at the times i played the most.As i said its a dam evil game, its something you cant really understand how it is, there are 11 million people playing that stupid game and its a reason for it, its addictive simple.Good luck to you :)
A
male
reader, wow addict  +, writes (13 October 2010):
HI, miss female I just want to point out the FACT that he is an addict, and addicts dont respond well under ultimatum, pressure, etc. Iam a gamer you can call me an addict and I know that you have no idea what that is. Any way find something to get his attention. Dress up as a night elf hunter, blood elf tramp, well undead streeper dont blame it on him. And please think about it 14 year, that a life time dont trow it away.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your answers. We've agreed today that he'll play 3 nights a week and the other nights will be family time.
Hopefully this will work! He does seem intent on changing, and I think he realises how bad it has been recently, and that it is really upsetting our daughter!
Thank you everyone for your responses, and quite a few helpful ideas!
...............................
A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (12 April 2010):
 No,I don't think so. This is a marriage, not a play date. Not to mention there is an 8 year old kid involved. I also don't think she's made up her mind because, well, she's asking for advice.
It's not fair that you need to work this hard to get his ass up, but you need to work this hard to get his ass up. If you really believe he's a lost cause, fair enough leave. But I think the fact that you even posted this means that you WANT this to work. Doesn't make sense to stop without trying at least one last push.
...............................
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (11 April 2010):
No I do not think so as I think you have made your mind up and seem logical and calm, If it feels right do it, even if he makes some consessions it would be temporary?
You have been through enough time to wave him goodbye - make him leave!
...............................
A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (11 April 2010):
That game is worse than cocaine. I don't even know why people like it. It has lousy graphics. Anyway, build a half-way house for him because a straight "stop doing what you love" won't help him detox. Understandably, you feel it's wrong for him to choose a video-game over his wife and daughter but, to be fair, it's equally ridiculous to leave him over a video game. You can't throw away 14 years because of an avatar on screen. Work out a timetable with him that balances out family time with world of war time. In fact, I suggest that you make it biased towards the game to begin with and gradually change it in order to make it more attractive to him.I know that the fact that you have to take these measures, or measure similar to this is stupid, but you need to understand that these games have a psychological effect on people. Oh, and by the way, I don't want to take away from previous advice of anything, but an ultimatum is not a good idea. DO NOT be aggressive when asking him. Its very tempting to do so because you ARE right here, but understand that he doesn't see it.Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, User  +, writes (11 April 2010):
What i personaly feel is every one wants a love & somthing that don't used to complain,He is obsessed towards the game because he doesn't feel the relations warmness & that is the reason. the things are cumulative & making it worse. breaking the relationship is not the end, None of the three will ever forget the good and the bad things abt the time you spent together, My opinion is for few days showing the respect & Love to him & yes don't hate the game enjoy that with him, just before making the decision thinks calmly & unbiased...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): Hi there
Firstly I would like to say that I was also addicted to World Of Warcraft, online games are specifically designed to encourage the release of a specific hormone which gets you addicted to them, so you keep playing and paying etc. It's so tough to break the addiction.
One day, it was the strangest thing but I was playing World of Warcraft and my room window was open. One of those dandelion things that fly around in the air (a "fairy") landed on my keyboard and I picked it up and took it up to the window to put it outside and I looked outside and thought to myself "why am I inside on a day like this? it's not right" and I haven't been on World of Warcraft ever since.
Ask your husband to have a read at these stories from other WoW users who are quitting or have quit
http://www.wowdetox.com/
Now if he is reluctant to read these give him the ultimatum "You and your daughter or World of Warcraft" If this does not spark a change, leave him, just leave him. Just because he's wasting his life living a lie on a game doesn't mean you and your daughter should suffer from it, you need to get your daughter away from the negative energies.
It's not fair on you, you need to find someone else who will love you and your daughter. I'm only 16 but I hope I helped none the less and I hope you and your daughter can just be happy :) 3 x
...............................
|
