A
male
age
36-40,
*iceboy
writes:Hi,My girlfriend recently broke up with me during the first two weeks of her three month internship. We are both young and she wants to find herself and do her own things with no strings attached. She wants me to do the same. She doesn't want me to wait for her and I wont. We both loved each other very much and have been going out for almost five years(didn't make it). We were first everythings together. First love most importantly. I mean I do agree with her and that I want to find out what life is like too. There were always thoughts in my head of what life would be like. We had arguments and the relationship wasn't as strong as it use to be. She said that she wants to find herself before she tries to fix anything with us. We eventually ended this in good terms because at first I kept pushing and she said that she would call me once she finds herself and that I can trust her that she will do that. I guess what I am asking with people who had expereince first love, which is alot of you guys, do you think first love will ever cross paths again? Reason I ask, is after I do my own thing, I know she will always be in my heart and I'm going to feel like and think about "what if's" about her. I know that if I ever meet another girl, I want it to be just like her or better(of course). I just know if we ever cross paths again, then its meant to happen. Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 They are called First Loves, not Only Loves. Initially, she will be the standard by which you measure all other girls, and most will come up short. Eventually, she will no longer be such an influence (the what ifs will fade) and someone WILL be better. Then, if that relationship doesn't work out, the Second Love will set the new standard.
There may be times when the women you date will not be compared to an “ideal”, but regardless, in the end and providing you remain true to yourself, enrich your life with adventure, friendships, hobbies and balance that with responsibility; be as emotionally centred as possible, one will come along who will blow the previous standards out of the water. SHE will be THE love.
Good luck... and ENJOY! ;-)
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