A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with a man now for a little over a year. We have had several breakups in the last 6 months, so very on and off but the most we were apart was 30 days. Anyway I really want things to work out with this guy. In the last breakup, I thought he was never coming back to me so had a rebound sex - bad idea I know. Condom broke. But said to the guy its been a mistake and cried. He was cool and said dont worry and changed his number out of respect for me. I got back with my ex. At the end of this month, found out I am pregnant. I told him the truth and said it might be the one nighters baby. He took it well though would not talk to me for a week. We got back together and things were going well until I felt very ill and I guess I was a bit of a pain...cos I felt so queasy. Anyway, he lost his patience and has broken up with me again. I txt him last night, said sorry ..and said how I want him to attend the first scan which is due in the next 2 weeks. He said he would when we were together. He replied to my txt last night and said Its over. No more calls and txts. I sobbed as I found this very hurtful. He then wrote - not my baby as an excuse to leave. BUT it could be his baby. Well 5% chance. We had probs to concieve. He did a sperm test and they said it was very hard for him to ever have kids so this has been a bit of a sensitive issue when I found out. He didnt believe me at first and threatened to kill me. THEN he came around and was nice...NOW he is being nasty again and I dont know what to think. I am taking good care of myself at least and I know I can do it alone if needs be. BUT I just find the whole process so unfair. Since he knows I had a very traumatic child death before where my first baby passed away 27 days after birth from vasa previa. I am happy about pregnancy BUT petrified of losing a child in such a horrible way again. I would love to know just if you think in your opinion given what I have said if you think he will come back. We have had so many breakups that each time I ask now if this is the final one. Anyway I have not contacted him after his message. So happy about that. BUT finding it very hard as I live alone. Cant contact one nighter as he has left the country and his phone no doesnt work. Any advice..I would appreciate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks...he wrote me one txt. I told him that I told my boss I was pregnant today...cos I promised him before we split up that I would let him know. I wrote him an email..was really nice just saying. Would love you to be there at the first scan which is in 2 wks time. If not, no worries. I respect your decision. Upto you. He wrote me a rude txt that reads: No more emails or any contact...clear!!! had enough of you! BUT I was only keeping my promise..so can not understand why he got mad...for just telling him...what do people think?? and thanks to reply..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Jeez there is no easy answer that I can give. I think that he may be gone for good. In any case if he really cared about you he would have stuck around. You are better off without him. Im inclined to say that you should focus on yourself and the child and surrround youself with friends and family.All that this child needs is love. All that you need is love, you guys will be okay.
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