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Will I win the war against him drinking beer?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2011)
A female South Africa age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Gud day aunts ive got a question. Ive been dating this guy for 3months now, before he would send me messages and we would chat everynight before we sleep. 2weeks ago we had sex and now i feel like things are changing. He still calls, send message and we chat but this time when its weekend he calls me once, doesnt sms or leave a message on our chatroom. I told him about this and he apologised and sad it wont happen but now hes doin it again. Dont get me wrong i dont think hes cheating or anything i just want him to treat me like before, i feel like now since he slept with me he think dad i cant leave or that he got what he want i just dont know. What i know is that he drinks and i told him to slow down but when its weekend i feel that he just cant. Do u think i will win this war against a beer. I love him so much and i dont want to give up on this relationship and im certain that he does too. So please any advise or opinion will be appreciated. Im 27 by the way

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011):

The fact that you even had to ask the question tells me you've already lost.

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (26 March 2011):

If he doesn't think he has a problem and he's unwilling to change. It's a lost war before you even begin to combat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011):

Take this from someone who has been there and knows exactly what you are going through. My ex-gf and I dated for a year and I loved her more than anything. I had blinders on regarding her drinking and ignored the warning signs and continued the relationship. We'd fight over her staying out all night and ignoring my attempts to reach her. I didn't want to lose her but her partying with her friends aways came first. Her drinking ruined what could have been a lifetime of happiness.

It's hard to say whether this guy has a drinking problem but you need to put your foot down. Tell him there are boundaries and you expect to be treated a certain way. Tell him If he isn't able to consistently treat you the way you expect you will leave him. Trust me..you don't want to be with someone who puts beer ahead of you. Continuing the relationship will only cause you more pain later on. There are a lot of articles online about relationship problems with a partner who drinks excessively. I learned a lot from reading these and can say they are all true. It hurts to have to let go but trust you will be better off in the long run.

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