A
female
age
30-35,
*andygirl2011
writes:Hello y'all I'm Amanda I'm 20 years old about to be 21 in May 8th, I was born with brain damage and my mother died when I was 6 years of age and I'll live with my grandma forever. Okay here's my questionwhy is it so hard for me to find a guy who loves me for me and doesn't judge but understands my learning problems? I have a great persoanilty I just think differently. Will I ever find true love I know I'm only entering my early 20's but seriously WILL I EVER FIND TRUE LOVE? Please give me advice I truly need it Thanks, Mandy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 December 2012):
 So you think differently. That doesn't make you brain damaged, it just means you think different than what society considers the norm. I do as well, having ADHD. It's interesting tho, because others with ADHD understand my train of thought, as I do theirs, where those who have "normal" thought might not see the same as I do. It doesn't make me brain damaged, only uniquely different, which I see as being a good thing.
Why do you focus on your differences, and "living with grandma?" It's as if you see your position as being a disqualifier. It isn't and is irrelevent in finding true love. But what is relevent is that you can't expect someone to love you for you, until you have accepted yourself for being who you are. Once you have, it's not a matter of "will I", but will be "I will."
You sound like a sweet girl who has a lot to offer a guy, and as long as you see yourself as being amazing being you, you will find a guy who sees you as being amazing too.
I hope this helps. Take care.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Ofcourse dear.
As Dave said you will meet someone who truly loves on some point of your life.
BTW i have never experiance true love either.lol
:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): You are so young that worrying about something like this is just too premature. If you were 30 and had never met anyone, then I would understand. I didn't fall in love until my early 20's and after that I never had problems finding great women. I didn't get married until my late 20's because I really wanted to be sure I was going to marry someone I could be with forever.
Also, you didn't give enough info about your condition for people to really give an informed answer (do you have speech issues? Is there anything about your physical appearance that makes people think you have a disability?). If you appear "normal" (I'm sorry for using that word it sounds harsh but I don't know how else to phrase it) and you've been unsuccessful in love you should just relax, it'll come. Many men don't place a ton of importance on anything other than a girl's personality. A learning disability doesn't mean you can't enjoy a person's company.
If you can tell you have a disability just by looking at you than you have a little more to worry about, BUT in now way is it a deal breaker. Unfortunately people can be judgmental based solely on first impressions, but friendship can blossom into romance very quickly so, make friends with people!
An important thing is that you need to be where you can meet people. If you are meeting people and having no luck converting that into any type of relationship you may need to open your eyes to men you may not have been as attracted to. That may sound harsh but sometimes people look for people who are a little "out of their league".
I had a friend who was a virgin until his mid-twenties because he only wanted to date models. Needless to say he wasn't a model. Once he loosened up a bit he had no problems getting women, he just had to notice the ones that had been there all along.
I'm sure you'll be fine. Nothing is truer than there is somebody out there for everyone, you just have to be available and patient. Dating websites may be a good idea if you're not very patient!
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A
male
reader, dave1982 +, writes (12 December 2012):
Oh, that sounds so sweet. lol. Not to sound like a prick, but your sentences are good enough that your brain damage isn't THAT bad... I'm guessing. Except the use of the word "y'all" but, I'll be moving down to Jacksonville in a few months so I'm sure I'll be saying it too ;)Anyway, yes, you will meet someone at some point. But, it's hard to tell who's "right" and who's wrong sometimes. If you are attractive it will be easier to meet people, but harder to meet someone who's "right". Don't get me wrong though - if you're unattractive it's not your fault - not all of us have amazing genetics.. but, exercising and looking fit will ALWAYS improve your chances of meeting people.I would say that you can definitely find "true love" but there are a few things that might stand in your way. one very important thing is - will you be attracted to the person that you might get along with perfectly? you might think "Mr. right" is hideously ugly, and I'm sure that happens to the majority of people most of the time. Will he think you're attractive? Who knows.It's really tough especially at - and I hate to mention it - your age. At 20 years old it would be realllllly hard to find "true love". ie: A good, long term relationship that lasts many years. It can happen, but realize that a lot of your thought process will change over the next 10 years - so meeting the perfect mate is nearly impossible. But, you can still find someone that would be good for many years to come. Personally, I will tell you that I am an average looking dude and I didn't have "the best" luck with women until I was in my 20s. I was a bit shy when I was younger, and honestly my brain was holding me back. It turned out that I knew a lot of women, and some of them actually thought I was gay - all because I wasn't trying to get in their pants. Well, it turns out I could have gotten into most of their pants - but that wasn't my goal since they were my friends. lol.Have you tried a dating site like POF? They can be very useful.P.S. Sorry to hear about your brain damage and your mom. If you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to PM me.Best Wishes!Dave
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