A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am 31 and will get married to my longtime boyfriend in a couple of months. Despite the fact that we have been together for so many years, we have never had intercourse. We both haven't slept with anyone else before aswell. Reason was we both wanted to remain virgins until the day we get married. We have been having a lot of foreplay though and had been resisting intercourse with great difficulty. We even sleep together. Of late i have developed a fear that since we have been resisting doing that for years, after marriage, sex will not be that exciting since now we are used to living without sex. Is this possible? In the beginning of our relationship we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were always finding ways to feel each other's bodies, give oral, etc. Most of those times, we were feeling frustrated at the end since we couldn't have intercourse. Now this urgency for sex has diminished somewhat. My bf says it is so b'cos deep down we know that without intercourse we will feel frustrated and that we don't want to get in to that frustration, so we don't like to have foreplay as much as we did earlier. Will this situation cause problems in our married life? Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): I'm the one who posted this question. Thank you all for your valuable suggestions. Yes, we have been bringing each other to orgasm by mutual masterbation and we really enjoy doing so. May be it has diminished a liitle bit over the past year or so. I feel it is because we cannot go beyond masturbation and feel frustrated. I hope things will be better after we get married. Yes, we are going to stop all sexual activity in the weeks leading to the marriage. Do you'll think we should stop kissing, being naked around each other as well? I want our wedding night to be special and I want my bf to eagerly wait for it. What can I do to make this happen and make hima go all crazy. :) Please advice.
A
female
reader, ms.sherri  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 Intimacy,love making is a natural wonderful way of expressing your love 4 one another. You have allowed yourself to experience this joy with the one u love. That is 2 be commended. Love making will bring u closer on a whole other level. Especially once you look at the whole act differently. Think of it as a gift that you want to share with your mate .im sure u felt special when you said I do that was the gift of self now its your whole mind body and soul. It doesn't get any better than that. Im sure everything will be better than u expected . Huggs. Toi
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A
male
reader, posttoasty +, writes (14 October 2008):
 You are already having sex, you have just not been having vaginal intercourse. Foreplay and oral sex are part of sex. At your ages I wouldn't feel bad about entering into sex relations, assuming that you are deeply committed to each other.
I suggest you fast totally from any sexual contact with each other for two weeks, before you get back together for consummating your vows.
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