A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been have money problems for about two years now. It all started when collection compines started calling. At first she tried to hide it but she could not. It turned out she had gotten credit cards in our names with out my knowledge. She also had pay day loans that I did not know about. The problem is she is still lying to me about this to this day. When ever I try to talk to her she denies it. I'm about to throw in the towel and leave. She will not let me help or talk to me .
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female
reader, Party rings  +, writes (20 February 2011):
You need to talk to her no matter if she wants to or not.Ask why she kept it a secret and tell her that she has a choice between you and her money secrets.If she carries on you may have to take her to a consultant to see if she has something wrong with her.Sometimes its best to let the professionals deal with it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): I think part of it is she's embarrassed. I'm in the same situation and had decided if I wanted to have a clean and open relationship with my future husband, I first need to be honest with me. I was denying it the whole time collectors were calling but then I realized that wouldn't solve the problems...especially when they started calling my work. Then my doting boyfriend asked me to marry him and I had decided that if I wanted a fresh start with my financial life and to be more doting on my life with him, I needed to work on the troubles of finances and tell him about my history and financial mistakes. Luckily, he's been supportive and loving every step of the way. Be loving and gentle with her and tell her you know what's going on and that if you two are to build a future together, you both need to come clean and one way to do it is to go to an expert like a financial debt counselor who can help you go through everything. They say that one of the reasons for divorces is financial troubles. I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): See if you can go to a CFP to open up that convo about money. Sounds like also she might have OCD shopping ...better call a CBT as well.
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