A
male
age
51-59,
*ugh Jorgan
writes:My fiance has moved out, again, during the most stressful time of year for us. My income fluctuates and is seasonal. She is out of work and without her own transportation. She's stuck at home alone and not meeting any goals. I'm used to hibernating this time of year. She wants to go out but we can't afford it really. The real issue thou is she spends more of her energy string to get me to be more active and healthy. She says my diet is poor, lack or exercise etc. She says she's not focusing on herself. She's too skinny now. She can't see her kids as much as she'd like. She wants to achieve more out of life. So she has left me to live with friends. Friends I don't know. She wont see me or rarely talks on the phone. She says we fantasize only and never make progress in life. She says I laugh it off and wont change. As I said this has happened before but she gave it another try. I don't want to lose her. I am stuck terribly is a bad spot. I can't afford to fill the fridge or go out. She wants us to have more or new friends but it embarrassing to tell people how bad off we are. Soooooo she is away string to get healthy and a job and seeing her kids. She doesn't have time for me anymore. But when I ask her to let me go or if its over she won't give me any answer. Just that she needs to focus on herself. What am I to do? Get a job, get a car, exercise more often, eat right make new friends etc but my point is why can't we do that together? Why wont she says its over or why wont she say I need to change. Its only about she needs time to focus on herself? What am I to do?
View related questions:
fiance, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Hugh Jorgan +, writes (21 December 2010):
Hugh Jorgan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you bgp. She said the same thing
She suggested I needed to go out. To change my routine. She added the point not to pick up women but just be social. I take that as a subtle hint she just needs that time to find work. But is it just a womans wayto let a guy off easy?
A
female
reader, bgp56 +, writes (21 December 2010):
Darlin,
Even if she gave you a written sign and hung it on your neck would you beleive her? Probably not, you are using each other. It really is ok to choose to be happy, ask yourself this...are you happy.. do you want to live like this the rest of yor life? If not then pick up your big boy toys, stiffen up your back and seek another adventure. You seem to be a very nice person and have definite sensitive side, but no woman worth her salt is going to be interested in you until your become interesting yourself. You are boaring even yourself..GET UP GET OUT, Do something...anything it will lead to something
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Glad to help. I'm all about working through problems, but it takes two in order to do that. It's a shame, but it seems like she's checked out. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Hugh Jorgan +, writes (21 December 2010):
Hugh Jorgan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your insight and help. Sometimes it only takes stating the obvious to let me see the light.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 December 2010):
Give her time to focus on herself.
Listen, she can't tell you to change. You need to want to change for yourself in order for it to happen. She won't say it's over, so now you have to decide for yourself if that's what you want.
To me, it sounds like you have dramatically different goals and lifestyles. The communication is non-existant so addressing problems isn't going to happen. All of this points to the relationship being over, so why don't you take the initiative and end it officially?
...............................
|
