A
female
age
41-50,
*atbabe102
writes:he never touches me in a sexual way any more. I have not changed (since having a baby). infact, i have lost weight, i dont have stretch marks, or unslightly post pregnancy marks..... I am clean, and always try to dress well, be clean etc. When asking him if hes still interested in me, he says yes, and that he does fancy me... so why does he NEVER come onto me? I know he is "working" down below!! As every morning he wakes up erect! So why doesn't he want to do "anything". Even if we hated each other, - i thought men - being men, need this release every now and again, and regardless of if we fight or argue, etc, he would want sex with me at some point, to "release". Im so sosooos confused and getting really really depressed about this situation. I dont know why he is being like this. He doesnt like to talk about things like this, so it makes me feel like i cant approach him, and evn if I do approach him and it "Guaranteed" he will say there is no problem, ot give an excuse that he s tired. I dont want to stray at all, but i am prepared to go elsewhere to be satisfied. please could someone help me? Maybe you' ve gone through something similar...??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): I have the same problem, he says he doesn't think about it all the time because he's not a pervert. However, I feel if you are married and thinking of your spouse, you should be perverted as possible with them...lol.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Yes I went through the exact same thing. My husband saw me as a mother,and he was scared he would somehow hurt me. I agree with the posters above about leaving the baby with a family member atleast for a couple of hours. Even if you don't have sex during this time you can talk,talking about the baby doesn't count.You both need to remember you are together and a part after baby. Give him a chance to sort this out,don't cheat.
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A
female
reader, catbabe102 +, writes (6 October 2007):
catbabe102 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the advice guys. SO i should give him more attention / affection? Thats fair enough . . but sometimes i really get the feeling he doesnt want it. (i need serious words with the inventor of xbox3. It get more attention than me :( )
i like the idea of organising a weekend away. I went to see a psychic, who also said that a weekend away would be planned, so hopefuly we can pull something off. thank u again!
X
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (6 October 2007):
 He sees you as a "mother" figure, not a "lover" figure. it is screwing with his mind.
Can you leave the baby with family for a 3 day weekend, and go someplace just you and him to rekindle? Bring some marital aids with you...maybe a B&B in the country some place, or a motel? Where did you go last that had a nice romantic and sexual feel to it?
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): ...and as an afterthought - try the stockings, suspenders and frilly knickers surprise treatment one night ...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Yes, indeed I have!
Before the baby came along, you were his wife or girlfriend and his sex partner. Now you've suddenly become the mother of his baby, which has a psychological impact on him, and he sees you in a different light.
Perhaps he feels slightly put out and, in his mind at least, is now in second place in your affections. Having a baby doesn't just affect the woman!
Don't worry - he'll soon get back on track if you treat him with the same amount of affection as the baby.
Phil
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