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Why won't admit he hasn't time for me?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I need help! I met a guy online about 4 months ago. We met up and he seemed really keen. We met up a couple more times usually on a Friday night or a Saturday night.

We have never been out on a date and apart from texting each other everyday we have not seen each other for 4 weeks. We were supposed to meet up today but he just text me to say there is so much going on at home. I text him back to ask him if he wants to call it a day, (I suppose I'm giving him the opportunity to walk away).

He turned it back on me asking me if that was what I really wanted. I said no, because it's not. What I don't understand is why he keeps me in limbo like this. He just won't admit that he does not have time for me and when I give him a way out he doesn't take it. Why is he doing this? It makes me unhappy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi and thanks to you all. I suppose I knew the answer but somehow reading your responses has clarified my thoughts. I have decided to end all contact with this guy and wait for someone who will treat me with the respect I deserve. Thanks once again for taking the time to respond to my question xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009):

in NOT meeting up with you and NOT answering your questions, he is giving you his answer.

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A female reader, Another_Kapiti New Zealand +, writes (15 November 2009):

Another_Kapiti agony auntWhy are you waiting for this guy to end it? Why don't you end it?! You deserve much more than being kept in limbo for a man who'll see you when he 'has time' and on his terms!

It sounds like you aren't keen to keep this up, so be direct and honest and say "I have better things to do than wait for you to decide what you want" and if the relationship really means anything to him, he'll come running. If not, probably best for both of you that it doesn't continue. Wish you good luck!

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2009):

Why are you putting up with this??? Do you seriously think that this guy is the best you can do?

Text him now and tell him you want to meet up in the next 7 days and he has to get back to you by Friday at the latest with a time and place to meet.

If he makes an excuse or doesn't come through then dump him and move on. Do not let him make excuses, do not let him "invite you round to his place." He takes you out on a date or he loses you.

I'd have chucked him a couple of weeks ago. Why waste your time on a guy who is clearly going to be a useless boyfriend since he can't even organise a date.

Good Luck!! xx

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