A
female
age
51-59,
*ouise1233
writes:Hi everyone, i've only just joined this site and i need help!!!I am 46 years old and have just starting dating a man who is the same age. We met online and when we met, we clicked instantly. We see each other twice a week at the most and he lives near to me. We have the most wonderful time together, laugh constantly, hug, kiss (fantastic sex), he tells me how lovely I am etc etc. Gorgeous Valentines present. All perfect.The problem is that once he has left, I hardly hear from him until the next time I see him and I almost feel like I'm doing the arranging. It's almost as if he's not really bothered yet when he's with me his actions show me different. I feel really confused by this behavior. I know actions speak louder than words but my ex was very affectionate to me but was still cheating on me!!We've been seeing each other for 2 months now and had a very serious chat at the start about being able to trust one another.Am I being silly or should I know better at my age?I do trust him but can't understand why he is so distant inbetween seeing each other.I'm starting to fall for him now!! I can't let myself be hurt again!!
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female
reader, louise1233 +, writes (16 February 2013):
louise1233 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would just like to say that it is MUCH more than sex. That is just a small part of it. I'm not a helpless and desperate middle aged woman happy to have anyone!!
I know for a fact there is no other woman etc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): am not a fan of online dating and dont trust men on dating sites. you need to make sure he is not wooing other lonely women from dating sites. men know women are vulnerable online and give sex and fall in love through desperation. fortunately am not in your situation so i cant judge.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): "I do trust him but can't understand why he is so distant inbetween seeing each other."
I can only assume he doesn't want his sexual relationship with you to spill over into his everyday life, which I can only assume includes the wife or live-in girlfriend on whom he is cheating with you.
"my ex was very affectionate to me but was still cheating on me!!"
I can only assume your current fling is being very affectionate towards his non-ex while still cheating on her.
"I'm starting to fall for him now!! I can't let myself be hurt again!!"
Then stop hopping into bed with random virtual strangers who tell you exactly what you want to hear in order to get you to hop into bed with them before you know anything about them.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 I think the most important detail that you need to know is what this man does when he is NOT with you? .... that is... what is it that keeps his attention so much that he is INATTENTIVE to you?
IF he has a job which requires lots of time and energy... and, maybe, travel... then perhaps he legitimately is exhausted and his time is limited.... so he deserves a "pass" from you for what you perceive as a lack of communication....
IF he has a job which doesn't require a lot of time and/or mental energy.... if he is a "regular" at all the hot spots in town, every night...... and if he is spending some or a lot of his time "out with his buddies"... then you can reasonably seek to learn why you are not closer to the top of his list of priorities....
Typically, one of these scenerios - which I've described - will apply. Learn which is your's.....
Good luck....
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