A
female
age
18-21,
kirstylou
writes:Im so confused. There's this guy that iv known for 5 months now and we were gettin really close. we would hang out togther, id go over his watch a film..he would ring me a few times a day for a chat, evrything seemed great and knew that he liked me. Its changing now and i dont know why, he isn't ringing me as he used to, i asked him why he's being different and he said that he hasnt got time for a full time girlfriend ( he's a police oficer ) so he works alot of hours, he also said he isnt ready for a girl. When i go over his which is not very often, he'd cuddle me, kiss me etc... ( Now friends dont kiss and stuff )..why is he doing that wen he said he cnt have a relationship with me at the mo?! Its really gettin me down, all im doing is crying and waiting 2 hear from him..iv fallen for him badly yet he doesnt seem close to me anymore.
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (1 March 2008):
 Sometimes I think guys will do this, be upfront about not wanting a relationship despite trying to get closer, when they want to have a sexual relationship with you and not a commitment. He even sounds a little confused about that. You are in a situation where you are going to be giving a lot and get very little in return due to his limitations, whatever his real deal is.
If you are at the point where you are crying, it's time to cut bait. You must not have listened to him when he told you he didn't want a relationship. Remember, when a guy tells you that, they mean it!!! No if, ands or buts!
You can try to convince him to be in a relationship or wait, hoping he will change his mind but you will only be crying a lot more. Take care and try to start keeping your distance from him!
A
female
reader, O Connor  + ♥, writes (1 March 2008):
 hey hun, it sounds to me that he doesnt really know exactly wat he wants. i think that he is being very fair to you to tell you that he is not ready for a full time gf, and letting you know this is very respectful. the thing is, you dont have to be in a 'full time' relationship to want to spend time with someone and enjoy their company. but if you are ready for a committed relationship and he is not, then you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. if you both want different things then your need for something more could eventually drive him away. explain to him what it is you want and if he isnt ready for that, then i suggest you leave him and go your separate ways. you both deserve to have the chance to get what you want. take care, good luck! if you need anything just email me!xxx
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (1 March 2008):
 First of all it seems like you are bveing quite clingy - which is natural when someone you like starts backikng away. This might be the cause of him playing it cool.
He obviously likes you, yes you're right friends don't generally kiss and cuddle each other.
It sounds like he likes you but doesn't want the full on commitment. He might be looking for a "friend with benefits", or a casual relationship.
Cool off a little from him, see if he makes more of an effort to see you. If he doesn't, then he's not worth pursuing - hard I know but you want someone who's into you and makes you feel great, not someone who brings you down and makes you cry.
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A
female
reader, SexKitten69 +, writes (1 March 2008):
 Hi HUnn,
It sounds to me that he doesn't really know what he wants and it's not fair that he seems to be keeping you hanging by a thread.
Either you carry on the way that you are or you sit back and think 'no, i'm not letting him use me like this'.
Have you asked him why he is kissy & cuddley on and off with you? Or is he just using you for emotional comfort whenever he is feeling a bit in the dumps?
Explain to him what you want and if he can't provide that for you then assess if he is the right person for you...I know it's easier said than done!
Take Care, Please Rate :)
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