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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months but have been having sex off and on for about 2 years. In the past 8 months we've been having sex 2-6 times a day. I went away for 6 days and when I came back he was all over me. a couple weeks later he went away for 4 days. When he came back we had sex twice in the past week. Now it's hard to keep him turned on or even want to have sex. What you think is going on? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Smiler +, writes (23 June 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
Having been with your b/f for 8 months, I'm sure you feel as if you know him inside and out. That's why this no-sex issue is so puzzling: I'm sure he says he loves you and isn't seeing anyone else, yet he doesn't want you to go near you. What's more, i bet he won't even talk about it, right?
You don't say whether her hands-off policy started suddenly, or whether this has been a gradual thing. If it's a sudden occurrence, it's possible that something specific happened to cause it. Perhaps he been physically assaulted, or may be an unpleasant memory from his past cropped up and is now causing him pain. Another possibility is that he's suffering from depression, which decreases the sex drive dramatically. But I'm just grabbing at straws here. Unless he opens up, getting to the core of the matter is hard, if not impossible, to do.If he refuses to speak to you, perhaps he would be willing to open up to a trained counsellor, or even agree to couples counselling, so both of you could be present.
I know this is frustrating for you, and very upsetting. I also know that your patience is running out, but getting answers might take time, and it's vital that you don't push your b/f too hard for them. Otherwise, you might push him too far - rightout of the door.
I hope my advice was of some help to you sweetie :o) good luck ok... If you ever need someoe to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on or maybe a little more advice, truely i'm always here for you ok :o) don't hesitate to email me i'm always here for you ok.
You Take Care Sweetie X
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (23 June 2006):
 I think quite a pertinant question here is what do you think is going on? Obviously you feel that something has happened and thats in no way unreasonable given the suddeness of the change. There could be numerous reasons none of which we could guess reading this.
I think you need to talk to him, not aggressively, just ask if evrything is ok or hes got something on his mind and if he asks why explain the change you have noticed and see how things go with that approach. Hope that helps. Good luck.
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