A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im very attractive and i have only been asked out once (im 19) I get whistled at by guys a lot and lots of them say im hot and try to use me for sex but never want a relationship with me. I dont get it, Im tall, athletic, smart, funny and ive even heard people tell me im one of the prettiest girls they have ever seen. I am dying to have a real boyfriend but so far it hasnt happened. Are guys just intimidated by me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Hey,
I am/use to be in the same boat as you. I've always been told by everyone that I am sooo attractive that any guy would be lucky to have me, etc. but when I was in hs/college it never happened.
I dont know why, but from my experience, I can tell you two things. First, I think there's a lot to do with the guys your age, when I got past 21, got out of college, got a job, a lot more men started approaching me, so once you get older, and the guys around you become older, this problem will dissapear.
Second, you know that you are smart, pretty, etc. But how do you come off? Do you come off as a confident, nice girl who is sure of herself? Or do you come off as Paris Hilton thinking everyone should worship you (extreme example but to serve the point)? And at the same time, you're this awesome girl, but guys can sense neediness from so far away, and they're just getting confused messages - if this hot girl is dying to have a bf then nobody must want her so whats wrong with her? Right.. I mean, thats what it sounds like.
My advice to you is to chill out. Everything in its time. Dont be desperate for a boyfriend, just try to make as many male friends as possible and be friendly to them. Be introspective about yourself. Be nice. Be compassionate. Good things will happen.
Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Its possible that guys think someone as beautiful as you would have a boyfriend already.... Some might feel a bit intimidated and too shy to ask you out. Best thing is just to carry on with your life and wait until the right guy comes along. If you see or meet a guy that you really like, smile or chat to him... Good Luck Sweetie!
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A
female
reader, Sophia_Sweetheart  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Sweetie they're probably just intimidated. If you're a bit prettier than other girls, they might presume you've already got a partner. Maybe you could make the first move, or show interest before them, to give them courage to ask you out?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Its bcuz everybody wants u. Not many guys want to have a gf that every other guy whistles at
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 It's quite possible that lads are intimidated - for all the macho talk, a lot of them sure are wimpy when it comes to asking a pretty lass out for a drink.
Or perhaps you just haven't met a guy who feels that sort of connection with you. Despite all the good qualities a person may have, sometimes it takes a while to find someone who'll appreciate them. Just because someone has a bunch of good characteristics doesn't mean people will be attracted, odd as it is. I've come across guys who are handsome and funny and smart etc, yet I wouldn't date them because there's no spark. Sometimes you just have to wait for the chemistry.
Good luck to you, I'm sure you'll find someone eventually.
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