| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: When something doesn't work with one person, does it mean it won't work anytime with anybody else? For example, i asked a girl out at work saying "do you want to go out with me?" and she said, "i don't understand what you are trying to say, clarify" and then i gave up as i thought she should have been smart enough to understand what i meant. This happens quite a lot to me when i have some expectation from the other and when they don't understand, i just don't bother trying again.
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female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (5 March 2007):
You poor thing. Asking a girl "do you want to go out with me" is, (sorry!), what teenagers do. They then say that the girl is "going out with me", i.e. dating, even if they never go on a date any more serious than sitting together in the school playground.
As you are grown up, you should say something like: "would you like to come out for a drink with me one night?" or coffee, or meal, or cinema, or art gallery, or whatever.
Then each of you have a chance to see how much you like the company of the other, and at the end, one of you will say (hopefully) how enjoyable it was and how nice it would be to do it again, and (hopefully) the other will explicitly agree.
And if you go out a number of times and start kissing on the date, then you'll be dating. After a while, you'll have a discussion about expections as to whether you are dating one another exclusively or not.
Hope this helps
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Ask them out without the context of having an intimate relationship with them. Either/or, it can lead to the same result. The chemistry may be there, you click, great, maybe take it a step up. The chemistry isn't there, you continue as friends or not, whatever. You don't have to put a label to your 'dates'. It's simply an outting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Instead of asking if they want to go out with you, ask them if they would like to go for a drink or maybe a meal. Don't ask them if they want a boyfriend. Make it an invitation to a social event (a drink in a local pub) then take things from there.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Instead of asking if they want to go out with you, ask them if they would like to go for a drink or maybe a meal. Don't ask them if they want a boyfriend. Make it an invitation to a social event (a drink in a local pub) then take things from there.
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (5 March 2007):
 I can only assume that when you are saying " Will you go out with me" I guess they are thinking do you mean pop down the shops with them, pop out for a ciggy, or be my next long term girlfriend.
As one of the girls said clarify. Say something like " Hey do you fancy going out for a drink one night after work" Or " hey this new movie just come out at the cinema, do you fancy watching it with me".
Hope this helps
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Maybe you need to change your wording of "going out". People take things the way they want to unless you specify what you're trying to ask. Change your approach.
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