A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a great guy I have been seeing for a year. He has a job, a gorgeous daughter and is very responsible. He is caring and very good to me and tries to help and support me in everything he can. The problem is I lost my house, my job and now recently my car and it has all been going downhill from there. I feel stuck. He lives 40 minutes away and I feel like a burden asking him to come and get me. I have been turning to alcohol and become nasty but he forgives me. I feel he could just do so much better than to keep me around when I feel so hopeless. He has standards. He wants a woman who is responsible with a job and goals yet he keeps me around through all of my mistakes. Would the kindest thing to do sometimes be to let him go or just keep trying? I love and care for him with all of my heart but like I said I feel so stuck especially without the transportation to a job. So I guess my question would be why would he choose to stay around? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Thanks for the advice you guys. It is very much appreciated. Still trying to figure out how to rate the answers to the questions. Both five stars. I don't know if I did it right. If anything else comes to mind let me know and again thank you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
 My husband is an abusive alcoholic and I stay with him. I love him. when he's good he's very very good...
perhaps part of the issue is that you are turning to alcohol for comfort. STOP IT. Alcohol detox is the ONLY detox you can die from. Alcohol poisoning is going to kill my husband. DO NOT allow that to happen to you.
So you lost your job, your home and your car... bad things happen to good people and sometimes we have to stick by those we love.
I've driven 2 hours one way to pick up my husband when we were dating...
you love him and care for him
he clearly loves you and will do what needs to be done to keep you...
why are you trying to ruin it?
do you not think yourself worthy? perhaps some counseling is in order?
are you in a program to help you find a job or improve your skills?
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (11 March 2013):
 Maybe he feels like he needs to take care of you. Maybe he is giving you a certain amount of time to pull yourself out of this hole before he makes the decision to leave. If you love him, you would dump the alcohol. It's not exactly the most affordable or essential thing on the shopping list when you are jobless. You should get out there and try to find a job. Don't you have public transport where you live? If not, try and find something more local to support yourself until you can afford a second-hand car or something, then look for a job that is more ideal.
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