A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend, now my wife, had only two sexual partners before we met. I’m several years, 17 in fact, older than her and we now have a young son. She told me about her previous boyfriends without me asking. The first one, a very bad experience for her in the end, lasted for a year, the second one only a couple of months. She also told me that she had never used any method of birth control other than the withdrawal method.I’m not sure why I asked, and it really doesn’t bother me one way or the other, but I asked her if her first boyfriend had come inside of her? She told me that the second one, with who she only had relations twice, had withdrawn. But her answer, to which she stubbornly sticks, is that she doesn’t know/can’t remember whether her first boyfriend ejaculated inside of her. She would make love with him in his car as well as a hotel (she later discovered he was married!)I’ve had quite a lot of relationships and it seems quite absurd to me that a woman, even a fairly naïve and inexperienced one (she lost her virginity at 28 years old,) doesn’t know, during the course of a whole year, whether her boyfriend comes inside of her or not? Is this possible?The situation is causing me a problem as it’s the first time that I’ve been aware that she is probably lying to me and I don’t know why?
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female
reader, JennyC37  +, writes (28 September 2012):
Why do all men want to know this stuff? I’ve never met one yet who doesn’t starting asking for ‘the details’ sooner or later. Anyway, I’m sure your partner is doing what I do and simply telling a white lie to protect her ‘reputation’ – what you might think of her. It would have been easier for her just to answer no though, wouldn’t it? To say she doesn’t know is a bit beyond belief. I mean, it’s not like she’s had dozens of others from what you tell us. We always know what’s going on down there – it’s pretty important – particularly if you’re not using other methods of BC. Unless she has some kind of mental trauma related to the relationship. Maybe you need to be careful? I’d say just forget about it.
A
female
reader, Kellywi +, writes (28 September 2012):
Well I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise to you that women lie about their sex lives – even if we don’t lie about anything else. We do it to protect your feelings but, let’s be honest about it, we do it so that you don’t think bad of us or judge us. As she’s already told you that she had the relationship then I suppose the only thing she’s covering up is probably something that she did with him, but not with you? Like letting him come inside of her maybe? But, hey, is it really that important? If it is you’re going to have to make her feel that it isn’t if you want her to be honest with you.By the way, unless she’s had lots of lovers, drinks a lot or does drugs then of course she remembers whether she let him come inside or not. We all remember these things, especially if it was a first relationship
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 September 2012):
 I don't think she's hiding anything devious, I think she's conveniently forgetting a bad memory. Maybe she's blocked parts of it out. Or this seems like the best answer to avoid more questions from you. I think she probably remembers whether he came in her or pulled out but I don't think it's worth bugging her about anymore. It was a long, long, long time ago. And yes if she lied about that, the real question is what else is she lying about as well? Probably nothing. Maybe he's the one guy she truly regrets getting involved with so she's making light of it. You should too. The end.
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