A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl during the summer and we dated for a while, never official because she wasn't ready for a relationship. She liked me alot and she always told me, but I wasn't good at showing her how I felt because I was scared of getting hurt again. Last time I saw her I didn't even give her a kiss goodbye, I just gave her a hug. She was going to Europe and I was going to meet her at the airport, but she ditched me and never picked up, that's when I just gave up and move on. A month later she called me and left a voicemail saying she's back and was sorry and really missed me. I called her 4 days later and she didn't pick up. Haven't heard from her for another month and she finally called back, The conversation was quick, but we planned to see each other soon. Twice I planned to see her and she just faked on me. Last time I texted her and brought up hanging out with her, she never replies back.I don't know what to do, I don't want to sound like a crazy stalker or clingy, but during the time she was away, I had time to re-evaluate my feelings towards her and realized she treated me better than any girl I ever dated, but never showed her my appreciation or was able to show her how I felt. It's been over a month since we talked on the phone and everyday she's on my mind. I need advice on what to do? It's getting to a point where I just wanna go to her house and find out why she's ignoring me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for your advice, but you guys were right :/
A
male
reader, KevB +, writes (6 November 2012):
I agree with CindyCares...
This girl is bad news...
Anytime a woman pops in and out of your life and you can't contact them...THAT'S A HUGE RED FLAG!!!!
Trust me... she's got 1 or 2 other guys on the side and does the disappearing magic act with them too.
Next time she calls tell her you like a good mystery just as much as the next person, but it's a little difficult to have a relationship with a ghost.
run away from this one bro...
this girl is not for you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): I have my primary opinion, but I'm not going to share that, as it won't be what you want to hear.
So...
Another possibility is, she's confused about her feelings, wants to see you and then backs out concluding its not a good idea to go back into the past.
Obviously there's a reason she isn't 100% cutting contact with you...
Who knows if you'd get your answer by confronting her, maybe she won't be available if you turn up at her door either, and then what? You'd be non the wiser would you. I'd rather just not know for sure what her problem is, but make it clear in my own head what I'm going to do, which would be to start forgetting about this girl because for whatever reason, her interest in me is sketchy. If she's not interested in me in the way I want, then she's not the girl that can give me what I want, so I'll find someone who can.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (6 November 2012):
You are too nice. Plain and simple. You will probably never recover enough to have this particular lady want you in a romantic way. The good news is that you are still very young and you can learn from this negative experience. It is ok to be nice, but do not be a pushover. You have been too accessible. My guess is that you have agreed with this lady on every issue, from politics to religion to whatever, just to get her to like you. That is wrong. Men or women do not want a pushover. It is ok to disagree. It is ok to say no. Most certainly, it is ok to be yourself. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 November 2012):
 No no, my friend. Avoid.
She is just not that into you. She likes to know that you are available, just in case, but that's what you are, a just in case.
" I am not ready for a relationship " is just shorthand for " I am not going to have a relationship with YOU, because you are sort of OK occasionally, but in general don't really cut it ". I found this to be an unescapable truth so far, but if you think this is just cliche', well, look at her actions and how casually and dismissively she treats you, what do you need to confirm she is not interested ? ( At least not to a level that can give you ant satisfaction ).
Let her go, move on, and learn to want more, expect more, DEMAND more from your partners. If THIS is the best that you have been trated by girls so far,.... then we have a problem, we really have a problem, and it's up to you to figire out out to fix it. Best of luck.
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