A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid ,I have wrote many times to you about my situations about my mom and sibling not wanting to help me with her so two weeks about she had a terrible accident and it landed her in the hospital now she is in a seniors home getting therapy to get her strong again.The younger sister took her ass up to the place and told them I don't take care of my mom correctly mind you my mom has dead weight she extremely heavy I picked her up and burst a disk in my spinal cord now I am slightly paralyzed on my right side but I will regain feeling back.With all this being said the ppl don't see any neglect on my side at all it just her guilt is eating her ass up so she trying to make tend like I am the one neglecting my mom but it's not true.Now that my mom is in a seniors home I am looking for work nobody wants to help if my mom gets strong enough to come home so I want your opinion on this I feel so bad I don't want to get job and leave my mom in the home I want nurses and family to come in and help but family don't want to be apart of it so would I be wrong to leave her but come to visit her as much as I can after finding a job? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 July 2013):
 Oh no OP, it would not be wrong. I can understand that the idea of leaving your mom in the nursing home makes you sad and a bit guity, you want the best for your beloved mom, and maybe this solution is not the ideal ( emotionally, because physically I think it's safer if she is round the clock entrusted to competent, trained hands )- but you are ONE person, you can't take care of everything singlehandedly, you've got your life and your work to think of. " Me first " in some situations is not selfish, it's just plain common sense,- what happens to your mum if you get a nervous breakdown or get physically sick or hurt from all the strain ( as it just happened ) .. or simply if you become broke and pennyless for lack of adequate income ? You HAVE to think of yourself to be able to take care of mom too: you've got to stay healthy and you've got to stay solvent. So, do what you've got to do without a second thought. Actually, if there are multiple siblings, the care and effort should be divided among all of them, but same as you can't force them to help if they don't want, so they can't force you to take sole full time responsibility 24/7 if you don't want , or cannot.
Do what is best for you and if your relatives complain, well , I was going to say show them your middle finger, but no, don't :)- tell them that if they can provde more time and a better quality of care, they are more than welcome, the job is all theirs !
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