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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm really struggling to come to terms with things that I have found about my ex boyfriend since we split up.We were together for 2 1/2 years. I was very much in love with him, but when I started to have problems at work and became ill a few months before we broke up, he backed off which broke my heart. I since discovered that there is some question mark over whether he was possibly cheating on me during this time too.A year after we split up, I found out that he was seeing someone only a matter of a few weeks after we split up. In fact, I think they must have met while we were still together. At the end of our relationship, I thought I had nothing to lose so I asked him if there was someone else. He never answered and I've heard nothing from him since. I felt devastated by this as I feel like I meant nothing to him.My ex boyfriend and I didn't enjoy the same hobbies which we accepted as we felt it was important to do our own things now and again. I used to encourage him to try my hobbies (dancing, go out walking), but he insisted he didn't enjoy them so I didn't push the issue. To my horror, at the beginning of this year, I saw photos of him with his new partner doing all of the hobbies that I enjoyed that he insisted he didn't like -with her! This has hurt me deeply and left me wondering what on earth was so bad with me that he didn't want to do these things with me. My self esteem is crushed and I feel such anger towards him at times. I have nowhere to direct that anger though as I never see him - and wouldn't want to. Why does he do these things with her and didn't with me? I'd be interested in your thoughts.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): Try not to take it personally. It's unlikely she's changed his mind about any of those activities, he's probably just following along to impress her. I don't think it was anything to do with you, why he never gave your hobbies a try I think it has everything to do with him not having enough self esteem to try. That's why he just bailed, because he's a cowardly dude. Let's hope he at least now sees the point in getting out there and trying new things. You should too, & forget about this. It has no insight into your value as a person, a mate or a activity partner. Good luck
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Personaly i didnt do a number of things with my ex and well...it pissed her off!
I didnt do them coz well...i just didnt want or saw need to!
Any way with this new chick im wooing i find myself doing thoz very things i before never thot i would coz along the way in life i learnt that some of those things appeal to chicks n are good ways for the two of you to bond
So personaly i think its nothing to do with you as a person,maybe he has reached should i say...a new level of maturity or learning curve
So try not to get all angry n read too much into nothing
(It seems to me,however,that you arent over this guy yet)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): I'm sure that deep down you know the answer to your question. You weren't the right person for him. I'm sorry, I know it hurts but that is the truth. This type of question is quite common on this site, people are always wondering stuff like, he why did he move in with his new gf and never wanted to move in with me.
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