A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Lately, our sex life has been very different. For some reason, it hurts me when we have sex. We have plenty of forplay (fondling, grinding, oral) but it hurts when he goes in. It didn't hurt before.It'll eventually feel ok but my vagina will hurt for a while after so we haven't been able to have sex a second time. It feels very tight and that my muscles hurt.I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions?
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male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Hi, thanks for sharing your problem. I remember reading sometime back about cases where the vaginal muscles lose their flexibility to expand during intercourse (which is an important feature down there). I guess you are already using lube, if not please use lube, and see if the problem is still there after 2 weeks. If yes, please meet a gynecologist. They can help you best and get you back into happy shape. Please don't hesitate in this, and take care!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010):
I think you should see your gynecologist to make sure everything is okay. If it is, the problem could be that you're not "excited" enough before you have sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): Hi,
I am 32 and suffer from the same problem. I went to the doctor and she said I have a mild case of vaginosis which means your muscles tense up when anything is inserted inside you.
I always make sure my boyfriend uses a finger first, which does not hurt, and then two fingers and then progressively a couple more fingers, to gradually open up. And when I am more loose my boyfriend can insert his penis. This has helped to make sex much easier.
Are you using a lubricant? We used to use lubricated condoms but it was still a bit tight, so we decided to go without the condoms and plenty of lube, which is far, far nicer. Just make sure you are on the pill!!!!
You can also buy some self-help items for vaginosis which my doctor recommended. They are basically penis shaped rubber/plastic tubes (definitely recommend the rubber ones as they are flexible) and come in a pack of 4, the smallest is large tampon size and the biggest is male erection size. You obviously put in the smallest one first and then when that feels comfortable and you are stretched enough you move on to the bigger size and so on. They really help actually. I used to use them alone every day but I overcame my embarrassment and told my boyfriend about using them. So now we use them as a sex toy and as part of foreplay before he comes in inside me. They are available online (I got mine on ebay) so you don't have to be embarrassed asking for them at the chemists! Or you can even go visit a sex shop and buy some different size sex toys to put inside you to loosen you up which will work in the same way.
Good luck, hope it gets less painful.
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