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What is my ex boyfriend trying to accomplish through his actions?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 May 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *alcyondays714 writes:

To make a long and terrible story short, my ex broke up with me 7 months ago via text message and it was horrible. I was absolutely heartbroken but as a result, I have been avoiding him like the plague. I just recently returned to my hometown where he lives after being away at school and unfortunately, we have many mutual friends. I asked the mutual friends to let me know when he was going to be around gatherings just so I could be prepared for it, but that never happens so I'm "surprised" every time he shows up.

The other night, we were all out at the bar drinking and I wasn't talking to my ex. I was having fun, getting drunk and talking to some of the people that I knew that I hadn't seen since I went back to school, some of them guys. After talking with 2 separate guys for a while, after each convo, my ex went up and started talking to each guy. Also, I hit one of our mutual friends on the arm because he made some snarky comment about me and my ex did the same thing to him.

What's his deal? I felt like I was being watched the whole night...and my friends not giving me any sort of heads up has sucked too. I am not interested in being his friend. If he wanted to be friends, he should have manned up and done the breakup in person or over the phone, but not text message. You don't date somone for 6 months and expect that to be ok. But I would like to know what other people interpret from his actions please, I would greatly appreciate it, this isn't the first time he has pulled this kind of nonsense.

View related questions: broke up, drunk, heartbroken, my ex, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010):

Your ex is immature....you should be glad the relationship is over...I know, I know...it's hard for you to comprehend that right now b/c you may well still love him, but believe me, once you get over this "in love" hurdle and start seeing him and the relationship for what it really was, you will be so, very, very happy that things didn't work out between the two of you...and you will be even more grateful if you ever meet Mr. Right......

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2010):

I think you may be over anylising here a little bit.

He talked to some people you both knew once you moved away from them. What you rather he did? Wander over while you were there? Or not speak to them all night.

Also, the fact your friends aren't "warning" you that he might be there, could be because the break up was last year. I think you need to take a breath and then just decide to stop caring.

I know you are still hurt, but your focus is still far too much on him and his actions. You need to let it all go so you can truly move on and act as though he was any other random in the room.

Good Luck!! xx

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