A
female
age
18-21,
sweetnsour027
writes:So I am having trouble with refraining myself from engaging in casual sex. I always feel very crappy the next day and tell myself that it is mentally unhealthy. I want to stop but it is easier said than done. For some reason when considering it I either have two thoughts running through my head. The first is that this guy is really cool maybe this could turn into more (even though it rarely does). And the second is that I try and think like a guy. I try and tell myself that I won't get attached and it will just be fun, but that never works either. Why do I do it even though I know it's not good for me? Why can't I think like a man? Why do relationships rarely stem from casual sex?Obviously I know these things never work but I am not stopping? Does anyone know what I could do to stop my behavior? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (3 September 2008):
 Is drinking involved in this equation?
Casual sex can lead to a relationship but it's not something you should really gamble on paying off. The other thing is that you are trying to think like a guy when instead, you just need to be true to yourself.
Sounds to me like you are taking an aimless approach to what you want in life and hoping if you throw a lot out there, something is bound to stick. Well, it may but chances are it won't be what you want.
I think you are feeling bad because not only are you wasting a lot of time and energy but you are also not getting a lot of quality out of what you are doing.
Embrace being a woman! I agree, you are still a little girl that hasn't tapped into the full potential of what a woman really is- guys love us for a reason, you know!
A
female
reader, lexilou  + ♥, writes (3 September 2008):
 The type of men you are meeting are most likely out looking for casual sex, why would they want a relationship when they can get sex with lots of different girls? They are not looking for love just a quick fix. You on the other hand are probably sub-consciously looking for the real thing which is why you cant detatch yourself from it.
Relationships do sometimes stem from casual sex, my husband for example only intended his ex as a one night stand and ended up marrying her, huge mistake, they went from one night to moving in to marriage very quickly (she told him she was pregnant, she wasnt) they had an awful marriage, barely knew each other and split up after a few years. He admits he used her as he had just returned from working abroad and had nowhere to live. So be wary.
The only one who can stop this behaviour is you. Stop going to the places where you find these men for casual sex or if you do, dont drink too much and stay in control. Not ALL men want casual sex, there are plenty of men who want relationships too but cant seem to find the right woman. If you meet someone you really really like, make them wait. If a man was looking for love which girl would he choose?? The one who comes onto him and makes it obvious she is up for it or the one who makes it obvious there is an attraction but only offers her phone number?
Stop thinking like a guy, be a woman and charm the pants of a man when the time is right. x
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