A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I’m having issues with men who are total strangers. I am a petite Asian woman in my 20s but I look young. I am often mistaken for 19 or younger. Men approach me regardless. I try not to assume anything and go about my day. I am not a very upbeat person usually. I get cat called by men whenever I am going out somewhere. It happens even when I am with my boyfriend. I also get hit on. I don’t know if men holler and flirt just to annoy me or they think I am single (when alone). I can be short tempered so I won’t hesitate to walk away. Why does this happen? Why do a lot of men bring their attention to me, even when I am with my boyfriend?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2019): OP, a part of what you are experiencing from men, even when with your boyfriend, has a lot to do with nich porn, and racism! In porn, asian women are portrayed as wanton sluts who need a hung black man, or hung hispanic man, or even a better endowed white man which sends the unfair message, to the men watching this smut, that her asian man is under endowed, or just unable to satisfy her wanton needs. This is a much different world today than when most of the aunts and uncles were your age. A woman used to know that a wolf whistle was only a whistle, but men have become far more emboldened, in what they say and what they may do! Just watch the news to see the things going on. OP always be on guard, ignore these ignorant pricks, learn self defense skills, and arm yourself with pepper spray if legal in your area. Another tactic is to carry a police whistle, and when men talk trash, drown them out with that whistle! Be safe! Blessings!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2019): As a woman twice your age who’s been there done that I can tell you a simple fact . Most men are shallow . You have packaging that’s popular , it’s promoted in media , in porn they watch and this when they see you they’ve see opportunities to ‘score’ and make themselves feel good and also look good to their peers . All about ego
Be smart , realise you’re looking for that rare gem who’s not like that and ignore these shallow guys . Believe me , the minute your out of sight they are onto the next girl
Have you read the huge study that was done that showed that although women’s age preference for men grew older as she does , men’s optimal age that they rate female attractiveness at is 22. That’s regardless of whether the man himself is 22,50 or 80 . Apparently us women become less and less physically attractive to men with each passing year after 22 . Wow and they dare to claim they are not shallow lol
So in other words realise it should get much better from here and that they are actually helping you weed out the worst ones by their attitude
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2019): That's easy. They're pigs. They see you only as an object of sexual gratification. You can't change them. Just don't let them bother you. They're losers who make a habit of this. And notice it's always with other guys around them. That's the only time they've got balls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2019): I can't believe what I'm reading! It's just a bit of fun??!! FOR WHOM? It's vile. Strangers shouting out sexual references to other complete strangers? How is this suddenly ok again??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2019): Good grief WiseOwl! When did cat calling become 'flirting'!!Cat calling is demeaning towards women, it lets them know they are a piece of meat as far as the man who does it goes. It is also scary and embarrassing! These two behaviours (cat-calling and flirting) are not the same and are not interchangeable. Being harassed on the street should be illegal.
Also if a woman is attractive, why should we 'expect' men to react?! Can they not control themselves and stop calling out in the street? They may well notice....no-one can change that, but to intimate that we should just put up with them reacting in a verbal way that is embarrassing and demeaning is not ok!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2019): I don't see where the problem is. Obviously you are pretty and the Asian look is in vogue in the Western cultures these days so you get a lot of attention from men. If you don't like it ignore it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2019): This is the OP. Thank you for your feedback. I will continue to just ignore these remarks. My boyfriend does tell me not to worry and pulls me away from any unwanted encounters. As for walking alone, I will have to manage taking trips in the day. My neighborhood is in the mix of good and bad.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2019): Maybe you are an attractive woman, and men find you attractive. I find cake attractive and head straight for it. Just enjoy been young and attractive, I doubt that it will last forever. I used to love walking down the street and hear wolf whistles. I used to turn the tables and shout back 'get your kit off' or stick my tounge out it made us all laugh. we are all different and I am different to you and saw it as fun and a natural curiosity to my own sexuality. It gave me confidence as a very young woman and put a spring in my step and a wiggle in my walk (it was nothing but light hearted fun).
However I felt SAFE and did not feel threatened so this could be your surroundings and the type of persons you are attracting.
use Common sense and be street wise and be a good judge of character and you'll learn to smell danger.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2019): Odd that they totally disregard the fact you're with your boyfriend? When you're in a questionable neighborhood in the shadiest part of town; it is likely you'll run into some bad characters. It's best to keep moving and don't react when you're alone. Your boyfriend needs to grow a little backbone, if he's going to allow men to harass you in his presence.
Maybe it is time to seek a safer route to travel and a better patrolled neighborhood. Cross the street when you see a group of rowdy guys. Keep mace in your purse.
Guys who make cat-calls and vocalize like that are either drunk, or just showing-off in-front of their buddies. You're not special to them, they'll do that to any female. Regardless of age!
It's best not to start anything, just keep going about your business. Take-out your phone to video or record any threats or capture pictures of men who are overly-aggressive, anyone who attempts to follow you, or gets too close. This rarely happens in well-lit better maintained parts of town. If you're a lovely lady, expect men to notice and react to it.
Just keep a safe distance from your unwanted-admirers. Pretend you neither see them, nor hear their cat-calls. There is no law against flirting.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 August 2019):
 Because you are young and petite (and probably very attractive, at least to THEM). As long as they don't cross any boundaries (like touching you or making you feel intimidated), ignore them and carry on about your business. 30 seconds after you have exited the scene, they will have forgotten about you and will be paying the same attention to another random young pretty female who crosses their path.
Rightly or wrongly, for them it is nothing more than a bit of fun to brighten their day. Don't let it affect yours.
I used to get plenty of attention when I was your age, simply because I was young and had a good figure, although I was never particularly pretty. When it started, it made me uncomfortable. As it went on, I learned to ignore it or enjoy it, depending on who was involved. Now I am past the age where anyone will pay me that sort of attention, I look back wryly and wish I had been more light-hearted about it when it was happening.
It's just a bit of fun.
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