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Why do I still care what my ex-friend says about me?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

An old friend of mine, "Sally" and I had a falling out- our friendship became one-sided and toxic. I was tired of her put-downs and tried to talk it over with her, but nothing helped. She had lunch with a mutual friend "Amy" recently.

"Amy" told me that "Sally" was bashing me and blamed me for the end of our friendship and how we don't talk anymore. She wanted to know what my "problem" was. "Sally" was also bragging about how all of these guys ask her out and talked about how she flirts with them and her sexual experiences with them. She then made fun of me for being "well-behaved." (Which is ironic because Sally was a pretty sensible gal up until she started hanging with another crowd. She then got a little crazy.)

I think she's just saying all of this in hopes that I will react and give her attention, so I'm not going to say or do anything. It just frustrates me that she said all of this. It isn't worth it and I shouldn't freak out, but why do I still care? Our "friendship" has been over for a while now, but why does it still get to me?

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A male reader, Boombadaboom Belgium +, writes (8 July 2010):

Boombadaboom agony auntShe's just the bad kind of friend. Everyone meets at least a few of those in their lives. It gets to you because you care and probably because you are a righteous person. Just bite through it and just ignore all of it. It's crap but it happens. And, you care because you valued your friendship with her and she let you down and you're sad about it. She reacts the wrong way and I'm sure she cares or cared too because she wouldn't do this if she didn't. Just get over it, leave her at the side, don't look back. Nothing you can do about it really, just try and take it well.

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