A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been raised in a family who regularly criticizes other people for the way they dress, talk, how much they earn, hair color, number of fingers and so on; you get the point. Thing is, they've never encouraged me when I did something good. In exchange, they always criticized and made a big deal out of my mistakes, grades I used to get in school, laughing at an inappropriate moment, and body position. Later on, as I grew up, they criticized my way of thinking and seeing things. They desperately wanted me to accept that there is only one reality: THEIRS. You're probably thinking that they were just educating me. I think not. I don't know what I think, but now, at 22, I realize the negative impact they had on me. Now I'm witty, sarcastic, sometimes I can be evil and sometimes I wish people died. I make the others feel miserable, I criticize them too harshly, and I wish they'd see the world from MY perspective. However, after putting someone down like this, I feel miserable and lousy myself. Or pitiful, I think that's the right word. Please help me stop this s**t. I don't want to push people away from me anymore. My boyfriend and my parents are the only good thing left in my life, and even so, I take advantage of their kindness and I manipulate them. And yet again I feel pitiful. They just don't deserve it, because they know I have this problem and they want to help me overcome it. But I think the only one who can help me is ME, and I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to change...Thank you so much for reading! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (3 February 2011):
 you will surely be alone and by your self. you have to think back and determine were your hurt or disappointment has come from. If some one has hurt you, you simply has to forgive them. Some one probably has done something to you and you carry the hurt around.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"How good is your internal censor?" - total fail.
Also, it's not just the way I talk to people, it's the way I THINK of them. I think I'm rightful to be witty and mean towards them. I got stuck on this, it's a habit. A bad habit, a stupid habit.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Well, you know WHY you do the behavior, so now it's just stopping it. How good is your internal censor? Perhaps if you start thinking before you speak, you can avoid these problems.
Here's what you do. When you have a sarcastic comment about to come out, STOP. Think it out and decide if you really want to say it. Maybe count to five and see if you think it's still a good idea.
You might want to consider some therapy as well. Issues like this run deeper than we often think. Unless the core issues are addressed, it may be like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound.
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