A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I ran in to my elementary love/crush on this one web site and the groove was the same we greeted one another with small talk and everything then he told me he is engaged my heart broke into a million pieces.I think he is the one I should have been with but time goes on I don't want to flirt to much because I know he has a soon to be wife I don't want any conflict in their home over us chatting on this website I saw him on.How can I put my flirting ways to rest when talking to him? Even though I know he has a girl. Help:(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): Thank you guys you really know what to say and how to say it.Its very true I have morals anyway he is the pass now I will live on:) Thanks
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 April 2013):
 We are all attracted to certain people and sometimes the pull is hard to resist. Even happily married people can enjoy fantasies... and sadly that is what I think you are indulging in...
You hardly know each other and assuming that things would magically work out -- if you were only given the chance. You are still in the honeymoon stage of your fantasy -- little do you know really what kind of man he is and what it might be like to co-raise his daughter.
I think you are expending a lot of emotion into an unavailable guy. Sure you get along and there might be a spark -- but clearly the man is sleeping with another woman and has promised his future to her.
I know it is painful -- especially when you are single and alone. You see someone with what you want and think "That could be me". I know I've been there.
The key is to remind yourself that you are enjoying a fantasy. And the only person you are torturing is yourself. In fact, you are teasing yourself when you could be finding someone who wants to be 100% with you. Also, continue to play out the scenario of you breaking up his relationship in your mind -- how do you think his fiancee would feel (and his child(ren)). Do you really want to interject yourself into the drama? Do you really want that weighing on your conscious?
If the temptation gets too much I suggest avoiding contact with him. Take a while to return emails, avoid face-to-face contact... and by all means find someone for yourself. There are plenty of available men who would love to meet YOU -- don't settle for a taken man.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 April 2013):
 Quite honestly, you can't "...put my flirting ways to rest when talking to him..."
The best - and smartest - thing you can do is send him a note saying how delightful it was to remake the contact from those so-many years ago.... AND, that you enjoyed exchanging with him... AND, you wish him well with his new lady-friend (potential partner)... Then, evaporate from his life.....
Good luck...
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