A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 and married, got married Dec of '07. I love my husband very much. When we were dating it wasn't easy for us... no one wanted to see us together. Well like I said I love my husband very much but I want to know why I feel like I do. For about 2 years I had a crush on this other guy and when I started dating my husband I thought I didn't have feelings for the other guy but I felt like that because I hadn't seen the other guy in about 3 weeks. That was actually one of the reasons that my husband (bf at the time) and I were going to break up. Well we didn't and things progressed and well we got married while the other guy was around I knew I loved my husband so it didn't bother me but now I hadn't seen the guy in months (more or less 7) and I can't stop thinking about him or looking at him when I get the chance. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't do anything with him or leave my husband for him but I just want to know why I feel what I feel for him. Could it be that I never really got that yes or no from him because people told me that he liked me but didn't tell me anything, he thought I was too young for him (he's 38 I believe), but the age thing didn't matter to me. It seemed like he did like me but since he never did say anything I moved on and my husband and him use to talk and hand out but after we started dating they stopped hanging out and even started getting other people to stop hanging out with him for a bit. I hope that can clear up the picture a little bit so I can get a better answer. Why do I feel something for this guy even though I have a loving husband now?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Every so often we meet someone who rings all the bells and sends our hormones off the scale, we can't reason it we can't explain it...they don't have to be attractive they just seem to do it for us, genetic compatibility... pheremones who knows and we just can't stop thinking about them.
So did you think that when you put on a wedding ring you would no longer be attracted to other men... Did you think it would have magic properties or act as a sort of bio-damper. Just because you are married it doesn't mean you're dead, the same attraction is still there only it comes back twice as hard as you are married and your conscience will be telling you that this is wrong whilst everything else will be signalling your interest.
Finally you are not wierd or insane well no more than the rest of us.
True Love is a series of choices and one of the choices is to remain faithful to the one we have married, it doesn't say you won't be tempted it demands that you deny yourself for Love is not self-seeking
Finally I'll finish with the words of the song faithless heart...
At times the woman deep inside me
Wanders far from home,
And in my mind I live a life
That chills me to the bone.
A heart, running for arms out of reach,
But who is the stranger my longing seeks?
I don't know.
But it scares me through and through,
'Cause I've a man at home
Who needs me to be true.
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