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Why do I always expect to be cheated on?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 October 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 October 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I just wanna say that for the most part my relationship is perfect, but for some reason, due to my past I always feel I WILL be cheated on. So far twice, even after fully going through whatever to make those people happy. Like I never did anything wrong, and they were afraid of commitment. Now I found an amazing girl but have difficulties letting go of the past. What can I do to tell myself to just get over all that and not rub that past onto my new girlfriend. I mean we've already have had sex, and have made commitments to each other. Does that decrease the chance that she even thinks of cheating.

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A female reader, HereAreMyTwoCents United States +, writes (22 October 2009):

HereAreMyTwoCents agony auntDon't make her out to be your past girlfriends. Not everyone in this world is a cheater. However since you have this past that is hard for you to let go of, I would suggest that you are open and honest with her about your insecurities due to your past, so that she gets a chance to show you and reassure you that she is not trying to play you -- instead of you wallowing in silent suspicion, which will inevitably come out in accusations, which will turn your relationship into hell.

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A male reader, IsItreal? United States +, writes (22 October 2009):

IF you are not willing to start her off on a clean slate and trust her in the beginning she will sense that. Untill she has given you a reason to not trust her man you better or you will run her off. You may even cause her to think that you are cheating on her. I had to learn the hard way you can not punish someone in your life currently for something that someone else did to you in your past. How would you feel if the person you love accused you of cheating and you haven't And I am not saying you have accused her of anything. But you have got to leave the past in the past.

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