A
female
age
51-59,
*ipsuperwoman
writes:36 with 41 year old manhe says I am the cause of him being unhappy. I have tried everything I can to make him happy. His big thing is that I don't see things his way that I never agree with him. He says I don't bring anything to the table. That I have no goals. He says that I am not supportive in anyway. He is 41 but act like he is my age and always talking about his single friends that are out banging other girls. More than once have I cought him talking to other woman online. I have told him I will do and support anything he wants to do. He says that If he does not do things things don't get done. I was raised that a man is to take care of the female. Even though I try to do as much possible Its never enough. We have been together 2years and we have had great times together. But he just always finds ways to fight over nothing. I love him so much but I am lost on day he says something nice and is making plans for a future and others he wants to run out??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Vipsuperwoman +, writes (7 August 2009):
Vipsuperwoman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advise means alot you took time to drop some lines down it's very hard to deal with a man that only wants things his way I have changed so much and cried so many tears I have a child who is 4 and already has witnessed the disolution of her father and I now this.
A
female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (7 August 2009):
 relationship should be a give and take..
Yes, you love him so much
Yes, he says something nice
Yes, he make plans for a future and others
etc...
No, if your man blame you for his unhappiness
No, if your man said that you had no goals
No, if your man said that you are not supportive in anyway..
Now imagine this.. you marry this man, and for the rest of your life : he blames you, he say you have no goals, he says you are not supportive...
??? ^-^
Well..my suggestion, just talk to him.. tell him what you want. Again, i can tell..give and take relationship is very important. It's not all about him..it's not all about you either.. but it's all about you two. Tell him to decrease his ego, and get the compromise.
If he loves you, he will try... at least he tries to be better. If he doesn't wanna try...it's your decision whether you want to hang on with this man.
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A
female
reader, Jennie10 +, writes (7 August 2009):
PS A person has to be happy within himself before he can be happy with someone else. True happiness with a partner comes only when we are at peace with ourselves. Reading your question again it seems that he has his own inner conflicts and is directing his problems with himself on to you. Perhaps just ask him. Maybe he loves you and feels pressured maybe he is afraid of commitment. You have been together for quite some time. and the age diffrence is nothing because men are mentally so much younger than woman
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A
female
reader, Jennie10 +, writes (7 August 2009):
Oh my I think we are dating the same man. Basically i would say he is controlling and a bit insecure and maybe feels he is not good enough for you. I don'thave all the details from what you said, but on the other hand if you are sitting around doing nothing than he has a point. But if you doing things then perhaps he is afraid of his own feelings for you and that you might not feel worthy of you. If you love him just ignore his sayings for a time and don't take them to heart, but if it continues for more than a few weeks, it might be time to take a look at the relationship. Because you certainly do not want someone who puts you down ...it will only get worse and you will end up with no self-steem and really then you are an abused woman. hope I am making sense. Best to you.
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