A
female
age
36-40,
*earN
writes:why do guys gets upset if we sleep with other men , even though we aren't in dating period. My guy friend get paranoid if by mistake or any chance I sleep with another guy . We both love each other a lot but we have no future together.
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female
reader, bearN +, writes (30 June 2012):
bearN is verified as being by the original poster of the question We do keep certain amount of distance. At the beginning we would meet rarely but now a days we meet quite often. What to do ? I really want to spend incredible amount of time with him . I have my friends who hate the fact I am with him . Cause they some how feel he might be using me. But My heart says NO.I like him and always will like him.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 June 2012):
 Then, you both know... this is not going to happen and he is right in chosing to only stay friends. The problem is that you are NOT just friends , you have got feelings for each other. You say that you are happy with what you have until he ( or you ) will find someone to marry... that may be quite some time down the road and in the meantime your attachment will have grown and strengthened , and breaking it out of the blue will be very traumatic. In my opinion, you both are playing with fire.
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A
female
reader, bearN +, writes (30 June 2012):
bearN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, his family is very orthodox and he can't talk freely with them. Moreover I am a Christian and he is a Hindu. So lot of difference between us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): Basically what I mean is that it will be hard for you and hard for him to see you with anyone else.
When you talk about a guy you like it drives him crazy, the same happens when he talks about a girl he was with.
Do you think it would make you happy to see him with another woman? I don't think it would and he won't be happy seeing you with another guy so you're both stuck this way unless you can change something.
His family may be really strict but he's an adult that can make his own choices isn't he? Look I understand that perhaps in the society where you live it's simply not possible and it may bring dishonour to his family to be with you, but he's already crossing that line by being so close to you now. He's not allowed to have these kind of feelings for you or be this close to a woman that is not his wife, if they practice the kind of strict Hinduism I think he does. If he's Muslim it's even more forbidden. Are you from different caste's?
You see it;s strange, because if he can't marry you then eh can't be this close to you either can he? Do his family know how he feels for you or that you have a very close friendship?
He will always be jealous because he has feelings for you.
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A
female
reader, bearN +, writes (29 June 2012):
bearN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am extremely sorry . Its just that I am taking a little slow in understanding what you're trying to tell me. Could you please explain to me what you mean ..."Has any guy you might have gotten with been good enough in his eyes? No, and as long as he has these feelings for you no guy ever will."I have never been in a relationship and neither has he ever gotten to see what kind of guys I be with me. Except I really like one guy , So every time I would talk about him , he would go mad. BUT yes every time he talks about his ex gf with whom he was in love for 7 years and they broke up. I go mad. And he knows it. But i must say he rarely talks now , after he feels that he has feelings for me. And if he does , i just knock him down.Had it not been our religion difference or anything. I am sure we could be together. He comes from a very orthodox family. He has been every caring loving and kind person. He did tell me , I am a very amazing woman and will get the best guy. So when I told him when You know i am good or best. Why not settle with him ? He replied me saying . I cant marry you. But I really don't mind been with him till he finds a girl to marry . Cause I like him a lot. And I have told this to him , He always has a smile on his face.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): "I am not sure about whether he really hates the idea , cause he is being very kind to me , and said I would help you get a better guy to be in a relationship. What you say about this ?"
It tells me the exact same thing OP, that's not true at all really. He wants you and frankly no guy is going to be good enough for you in his eyes. Has any guy you might have gotten with been good enough in hie eyes? No, and as long as he has these feelings for you no guy ever will.
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A
female
reader, bearN +, writes (29 June 2012):
bearN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not sure about whether he really hates the idea , cause he is being very kind to me , and said I would help you get a better guy to be in a relationship. What you say about this ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): "We both love each other a lot but we have no future together."
There's your answer, because he wants you but can't have you and hates the idea that other guys can.
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A
female
reader, bearN +, writes (29 June 2012):
bearN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyup.. its due to difference in our religion. He did tells me I am an amazing women , And I will find the best guy. But due to certain circumstances he can't marry me. He comes from a very orthodox family. So, all we do is enjoy each other company until he gets a girl or I get guy with whom we can settle. BUT he did tell me , I will get very upset if you hook up with someone else.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 June 2012):
I think that if you do not to date just because you have no future together ( which , you being from India, I assume it means you are from different religions, or castes, your families won't let you marry and / or will arrange your marriages to someone else, etc.etc. ) that does not automatically cancels the feelings / attraction he may have for you . It's normal that he'd be sad at been slapped in his face with the reminder that he can't have you, and other guys do. This if you mean you are not dating and are strictly platonic friends. If you mean that you are FWB... it does not change much, maybe he'd like to have you in exclusive for himself- he understands theer's no point since sooner or later you'll have to part company , but if he cares about you- don't expect he's thrilled about your sexual successes with other men !
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): From a genetic perspective, if his partner (you) chooses a hotter guy, and other girls are in relationships, then his genes don't get passed on. They are erased from the earth. If he doesn't know you've slept with a different guy, he maybe fooled into raising another guy's kid. This likely happened frequently in hunter-gatherer times and happens in nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes that still exist. Those times are a different context however. It is unacceptable now to guys in westernised cultures to be cuckolded.
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A
female
reader, Candycane1234  +, writes (29 June 2012):
 No one likes a man going by their woman they can be very jealous.
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