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female
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anonymous
writes:Hoping the great agony aunts on here can help. My live in boyfriend of twelve years and I parted company a year ago. He moved back to his hometown a long way away. It is a distance to drive, seventeen hours to be exact...Canada is a big country. It was not a horrible breakup..awful things said ect but I almost think that would be better. He said at the split that we would be friends for life. He promptly found another girl when he moved and pretty much ignores me although he is pleasant to me. I had to call about some mail and he seemed like he just wanted to get off the phone, said he was on his way out the door. I was hurt. I am at the point where I accept is ignoring me because what choice do I have..he has moved on and is no longer interested in any contact at all. Why do exes do this after a breakup and how can I move on from being hurt. Any replies appreciated.
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reader, rcn  +, writes (20 March 2009):
 People deal with break ups and hurt in different ways. I was short spoken with my ex as well, but now 7 years later, we can talk for a couple hours, laugh and joke around. You also called for a particular reason, not to just say hi. That may have been offensive to him as well. Such as if he was hurting, but you've moved on. Give it time for both of you to heal, then start mending the friendship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): I am afraid the great agony aunts aren't here. Its there day off and they have gone to the beach. I am here instead. I normally sweep the floor. But today i get to help.
Anyway...
Exs do that for many reasons
- worry you are a psycho bunny steamer stalker type who can't let go.
- becuase the new love is lasering him with her eyes so he cant speak.
- Because he has better things to be doing and you remind him of what could have been.
- yes what could have been all that energy and time, he is going to think its a waste as its nothing and talking reminds him of that.
- the new love wont like it so why get into that position with and ex.
It might get better in time - but think you need to find a new love of your own....
Hugs, Star.x.
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A
male
reader, BasBond  +, writes (20 March 2009):
hi there, I certainly know what you are going through and how rough it can be. I'm afraid that this is the way these things go sometime, with one person still emotionaly tied while the other wants and has the capacity to move on and has a new partner to fill the void. It will get better with time and the pain and the need for contact will subside. As you will surely find a new love who will fill that empty space in your heart. In a way it is better that he does not live just around the corner as you are not faced with bumping in to each other all the time. I can speak from experience having had 2 major loves in my life that moved on. The last who had been my soul mate for years let me go 2 years ago and I keep bumping into her which stirs the emotions up for a few days. It has only been in the last few weeks that the happy memories of our time, give comfort and outweigh the pain. I would still give anything to have her back but must accept that it will never be. My thoughts are with you. Bas
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