Why did he treat me like this when he said he loved me?

A female age 41-50, *lairyfairy writes:

I just dont understand what im doing wrong. Im trying to get over a ex who has hurt me stripped me of my self by his hurtful remarks.his flirtous ways.not wanting to spending time with me and making out his single!he knocked my confindence made me believe i was wrong and he was right. I felt like he could do or say what he wantf and i would keep going back for more belittling! Ive been out of it 9 months now but the effects on me r still great. I was totally besotted with him hed be so nice take me out and then act hard or start being hurtful. By telling me bout his womanising past all 90 of them! All i saw was what he did with them flash b4 my eyes.he never took me out with his friends. I was kept away like he was hiding stuff.which made me paranoid as the next day he would tell me how he couldnt remember getting home and how women were coming on to him and he has to turn them down for fun! This absolutely broke my heart in peaces and made me cling to him more .cos i thought someone else will have him soon enough! I still sit here wondering what hes doing. Maybe thinking i bet hes changed. Although he still begs me back saying that i am the best thing to happen to him! I just feel im on this path going nowhere! Ive got so much to give. I dont slept around ive never had a one nite stand. Im a nice looking girl but i feel so shit. I dont want him but i got alot of anger towards him. I just see his charming face and it makes me sick. Cos he seems to be nice to everyone else but not me! Keep going ouer it in my head and it drives me mad! Could i of done anything? Why did he treat me like this when he said he loved me? Why do i feel so low i dont think i can do better? Help me.

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A female reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (6 June 2009):

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