A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. This girl I'm in love with, has a bf. She's with him for 5 years already. While with him she started to have feelings for me. But, she has hurt quite a few times because she'll ask me to move on a few days after confessing her feelings for me and that's because of her guy. She always tells me she wants to break up with him, but patches back with him after sometime, and this has happened many times. They have frequent quarrels with eachother and she'll end emotionally hurt. She says her guy is very possessive and won't let her go even after she breaks up. She tells me it's hard to leave him too. She herself admits that her relationship is unhealthy and her bf controls. I advised her many times about this. Why she can't leave him for a better life? I really care for her. How long can this relationship last?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Move on and don't hang on to that thought. She continues to be with him because she wants to be with him simple as that.
Don't hold your breath waiting for her to leave him, you might not see your surrounding and might be missing the chance of meeting someone else because you are stuck in the window looking at the same view.
Let her live her life. The life she chose, you need to need to live your. Good Luck!
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (10 June 2010):
 The type of situation she is in is quite common. And the simple truth of the matter is she doesn't want to leave him. She may get upset and say she wants to go, but this happens in relationships like that. If she really wanted to go and really wanted to leave him, she would have. If she was that afraid of him "not letting her go after they breakup" than she would get a restraining order. But she doesn't. She's in a relationship that will cycle like this for years and years to come.
My advice is to get out of that cycle and move on. I know that's easy for me to say, but because you have feelings for her you are not looking at things objectively. 5 years is a very long time, and it will only go longer.
Sorry. Even in the VERY VERY VERY slim chance something would happen and she'd leave him (which won't happen), it would not be healthy for her to jump back into a relationship right away. Especially after 5 years with someone. This is a lose + lose situation for you I'm afraid.
...............................
|
