A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi im 17. How come when my boyfriend fingers me and eats me out it feels sooo good, but i can never orgasm? When i masturbate i can always make myself orgasm, but with him i cant. We havent tried sex yet by the way. Why cant i orgasm ?
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): It's likely a combination of things. First, you're not 100% comfortable and your body is not going to let go and allow you to cum. Second, he may not yet be 100% in tune with your body and know how to get you off. Since he can't see what makes you cum he can't perfect his technique.
You need to relax - a little alcohol (ONE DRINK, NOT a 6 pack!) should loosen you up.
Second- TEACH him how to give you pleasure. Guys NEED this with every new lover. they LOVE being taught, and it's the best gift you can give yourself!
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (26 September 2010):
Hi there. It's probably because you feel pressured to orgasm when your boyfriend stimulates you - either digitally or orally.
Perhaps he says things like - "How does it feel?" Or "Are you nearly there?"
Even if he doesn't use this second question (in so many words), you are probably conscious of the fact that he's been doing it for a long time and that he must be getting tired. Perhaps when he stimulates you with his fingers, he changes hands after a while, which indicates that his hand is getting tired. This doesn't help you to reach orgasm any quicker - in fact, quite the opposite.
Then all you can think of is - "Why can't I come? Why isn't it happening?"
Well remember, "A Watched Pot Never Boils". It's so true. The more you think about it, the more elusive it becomes.
My suggestion is, let him stimulate you as usual, then if it doesn't happen - no problem, no big deal. Don't let him go on and on. After a while, you might become a bit sore.
Just relax into it and just concentrate on the sensations generally, even as tiny as they might be. The feelings are very mild to start with, then build up over several minutes.
You already know that you can orgasm as you have experimented with masturbation, so you already know the feelings you get and how they build over time. So perhaps, guide his hand to try how you do it yourself. Also, make sure you stimulate him as well, (at the same time), so some of your focus is off yourself. That will stimulate your mind while you touch him. It will help you to be even more stimulated, thus more chance of reaching orgasm.
And remember, your mind is your most powerful organ for sexual stimulation. It really all starts there.
Don't go into every sexual encounter thinking ahead to the orgasm (or wondering if you will or not). Instead don't think about orgasm at all. Just concentrate on every tiny little tingle you feel every single. Live completely in the present moment as you go. When you DO think ahead to whether an orgasm is going to happen, you short-circuit all that happens in between.
Over time you will know what I mean by this. What happens is, the doubts you may have and negative thoughts towards it, will simply distract you away from all the physical feelings you are experiencing at the time.
The main thing is to relax and just enjoy it all - every single second. When there is no thoughts (by you), of whether you will reach orgasm or not, the whole experience will be so much more enjoyable - every time you are together.
Hope this information helps you. Take care and best wishes.
...............................
|
