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Why can't I get a girl anymore?

Tagged as: Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2012)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Before I was depressed people said I was cute and fun to be around. People would tell me I could get any girl I wanted. When I hit 15 I got acne and got depressed for NO reason. I think hormones screwed me up or something. Now I'm 18 and still no improvement. People say I always looked depressed and miserable all the time and people avoid me now. Girls used to always love how lively I was and they would always smile at me. Now girls think I'm weird and avoid me. Why can't I get a girl anymore?

View related questions: acne, depressed

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A male reader, lost cartographer United States +, writes (25 September 2012):

Well with all due respect to the ladies who talk about how emotions should be for men then I have no idea how they know this!

Being a male teenager is rough. You go through emotions like they are going out of fashion. Try not just to tell yourself to be happy, but go out and do something that will make you feel better. For me it was running, and playing soccer. The amount of time I dedicated to sport genuinely made me feel happy. The side effect was I got fitter, and my pimples cleared up.

I dont want to play down depression, but I mean to say that there is a big difference between being a moody teenager and being medically depressed. If you feel like you are the latter then please see someone. THese years are tough but trust me they get heaps better and very soon!

youtube Will Smith's wisdom that really helps pick me up when I am feeling a bit unmotivated. Find something healthy that doesnt necessarily involve drinking, smoking, or drug use and stop worrying that you will never find someone. Girls come along and I hate to use the same cliche but it is usually when you stop worrying and dont expect it

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (24 September 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntYou have been depressed and miserable for the last 3 years? That isn't normal hormones. You know other people your age, does anyone else feel depressed for years? I've never heard of that being common for teenagers. I think you should see a psychiatrist to treat you for depression. I think you are already aware of what is keeping you from attracting girls, the way you are appearing to people. No one who is miserable is attractive to date. Get some help for yourself first THEN worry about attracting ladies.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks. Although I'm not at all worried about the acne cause i know it will go away eventually. Also I'm 100 percent it's my hormones because I'm just sad for no reason and i always tell myself throughout the day to be happy but it just doesn't work. Since it happened when i got pimples at the same time its gotta be hormones right?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012):

Guys can't hide acne like girls can, so I really feel for you. I think you need to get an appointment with your family doctor, and see what medications are out there to help. A homeopathic treatment is teetree oil, it helps dry up the excess oil that encourages acne/spots . But still go to the doctor as a British mental health nurse having depression for three years is too long, so you need to discuss with the doctor how your feeling and get an SSRI to help elevate these negative feelings.

Once you are feeling better in yourself, you'll start to attract the girls again...remember girls don't always go with how outside packaging goes, we would rather have a partner we can talk to, joke with, then be with Dull Ken .

My husband is pretty handsome, but the first thing I noticed was his eyes... And he handsome to me as he's mine.

Rem and get an appointment some.. Take care

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A male reader, lost cartographer United States +, writes (24 September 2012):

Stop eating as much red meat, drink more water, eat more vegetables, drink less milk, stop eating chocolate, look at trialing proactiv, take up a fitness routine, go to the gym, stop looking at the negatives in things, read poulo cohleho (hover it is spelt) the alchemist and change yourself into the person that you want to become!

Girls like happy guys. The outer or superficial layer matters heaps only because it surpresses the person who you are.

Good luck will come, just this time is more difficult if you develope later than your friends.

If you do suddenly lose pimples, get a better body please do not let yourself get obsessed by it and do not get a fake tan at any stage and do not check yourself out in mirrors, shop windows etc. Girls like confidence and looks but trust me they like the idea of being prettier than you. Good luck grasshopper

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