A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am i ever going to find someone that loves me?I'm 20 and i feel really sad. i have never had a boyfriend.When i was 6-9yo and 13yo i was sexually abused and even though i know it wasn't my fault i kind of have always felt 'dirty' and as if i lost my innocence too young. I never told anyone about this to this day and have been brought up that sex is strictly for marriage so i have always felt really guilty that i'm not a virgin.Anyway, i was seeing this guy recently and we ended up FWB. i really liked him and wanted it to be more and i feel really sad now but it's ok as i have learnt from the experience. I will never allow this again. Infact i think im going to abstain from sex all together for a long while.I think my problem is that i don't see myself and subsequently portray myself in the right way.I feel i have to show guys how amazing i am in bed, as i feel i have nothing else to offer (as i'm not that confident or attractive). But the truth, is that deep down, i am special and unique. I'm smart, i know what i want, i'm very caring and i love to laugh and enjoy life. If only someone started to date me i just know they would love me! But i just can't seem to get anyone initially interested.Will i ever find love? please answer!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): Following on from Gina -
http://rasasc.bizview.co.uk/ Click on referral centres to find one near you. There's some good advice on the site if you have a good look around, which I hope will help you understand why you're feeling the way you do.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (8 May 2009):
 hun that is rough because you've sexually abused and now you feel that's how you need to get a guy but it's not the way at all and i understand you'll feel dirty hell i would!
but as you've said it's not your fault at all!
you're special and unique as you say then let guys see that!
show them that you're not just something to use and abuse show them you got potential and you're an amazing girl!
i don't have much confidence but every knock back i get i learn from it and i get a better stronger person within myself!
i am 20 too i've had relationships but nothing serious!
but i know im waiting for the right one because i don't want to waste my time and waste things with someone i think isn't the right one at all.
but you need to show guys how lovely you are1
get them to see you for you!
not for what you can do.
start talking to a boy first you know get to know them and take it from there.
worst they can say is they don't like you and then you can learn from your mistakes and move on and try with another guy.
sometimes things just fall into place when you least expect it!
you will get there hun no doubt about that, if you need anymore advice pop me a message i'm always willing to listen :)
Chin up hun.
x x X x x
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A
female
reader, confused-princess +, writes (8 May 2009):
 of course you will find love, it is understandable that you feel the way you feel. and that it is very difficult to trust people. but everyone finds someone. whether it be at the pool. supermarket, or anywhere. but you have to take the plunge. it is impossible for anyone to get close if you do not let them. when you do meet someone, take it slowly at your pace. if they are a keeper then they will understand. x
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