A
female
age
,
*ydia
writes:I have been dating a man for several years. At times he can be very sweet and attentive, taking me to dinner, bringing me little presents, but the relationship doesn't seem to be progressing past the dating phase. He tells me he loves me often, but makes it very obvious that I am far from being the most important thing in his life. It seems to come in this order - his (grown) kids, his golf, his exercise, then somewhere after that - me. Also, he constantly makes comments that make me feel like he's doing me a favor when he sees me. When I ask him about it he brushes it off like I don't know what I'm talking about.When I try to talk seriously about the problem he either tries to convince me that I'm wrong to feel the way I do, or that I have no right to expect more.Shouldn't I at least be in the top 3?
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (26 June 2010):
 Yes you should expect to be a priority as much as you make your partner a priority in your life (it's how relationships grow stronger). Maybe he genuinely doesn't see you as his priority because he's a little thick skinned!!. You have tried to talk to him about it and he has made it clear he doesn't want things to change...maybe they never will.
He shows his love to you in his own way...if this isn't making you happy or isn't how you would like things to be, perhaps it's time to say goodbye to him and start anew with someone else!!
There is always the fear that walking away might be the wrong thing to do, so you have to weigh it all up carefully and decide what you can and cannot accept within your relationship. People don't often change, but there should be scope for compromise...give and take , if you like!
Maybe try talking to him one last time. Try not to give ultimatums, but explain that you would like a few things to change within a reasonable time. If he is unco-operative, then simply end things and go your own sweet way!!
Best of luck to you...x
AE x
|
