A
female
age
30-35,
*eangirl101
writes:i have a thing about pushing guys or actually every body away and my boyfriend is trying so hard to get close to me and every time he does i always do something to mess it up or make him feel bad i think he's falling hard for me and i cant stand it i cant stand people getting close to me and thats what he's doin, he's goin threw the barbwire i put around my heart. i truly love him, i love him more than anyone i've ever known and that scares the hell outta me. he's always talking about our future and everything hell i'm 17 i dont even know what i'm gonna be doin next week....so my question is Why am i so scared? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 This would normally be due to a bad past experience either with a partner or else maybe you felt rejected as a child be one or both of your parents (normally the father). Whatever started it, it is a defence mechanism and it is in place for a reason, either one of the above or else you dont feel secure in yourself and thus dont feel secure in the relationship.
Another possibility is that your commitment phobia is a natural desire not to settle down at your age. What makes me suggest that is more than this is way you say you tend to push everybody away and not just apply it to your bf. I think the first thing you need to do is to stop torturing yourself over it...it is a perfectly natural thing to feel. Good luck.
A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (23 November 2007):
 well hunney its not your fault your scared.but you cant just push everything away because youll get too used to it and then youll never be able to trust or love someone and youll be all by yourself.if you truly love your man then let him in and trust him.pushing people away isnt the answer.i tried doing that when i got my heart broken for the first time but its too hard.if your uncomfortable or scared to talk about your future with him then let him know!how do you expect him to know not to talk about it if you dont tell him.your right you are only 17 and you have a long time to go so let him know that you dont wanna talk bout your future right now and if hes ok with it then let him in your heart.it feels sooo good trusting someone and loving them because then you have someone to count on.
i hope i helped
love and kisses
...............................
|
