A
female
age
41-50,
*estiny26
writes:Why am i attracted to 'alpha dog' males all the time?All my life I have gone for the same sort of men:Criminals, gangsters, policemen, bikers, bouncers, prison oficers...etc, they even have a similar look- muscles, shaven head, tattoos...etc. I only seem to be attracted to anyone who is in a position of power or a bit twisted and nasty. A lot of the men I have been involved with have been described as 'animals' or 'pyscho' and as a result I have seen some things I kinda wish I hadn't.why do I do this and how do i stop?thanks ;)
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female
reader, Mrs. Mom  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 I think it's natural to be attracted to powerful men. After all, they're the ones that can protect you against the predators. However, what's natural isn't always what's healthiest, and the fact that you've been exposed to unsavory things proves that point.
I read some advice in a book called "Women Who Love Too Much" for women who tend to always go for the same type of guy with disastrous results. The advice was to consider dating guys who are outside the type. Just go out with him once or twice and try to find something good about him. Don't force yourself, but explore a little.
There are sometimes powerful factors drawing us to certain types of people. Patterns are carried forward from early childhood; some are healthy, and some are definitely unhealthy. It's all part of our natural desire to repeat past experiences in order to give us an opportunity to master a bad experience or relive a positive experience. Even though it's a natural part of who we are, sometimes we need to acknowledge when our choices are destructive and consciously break that pattern.
It sounds like you might be ready for that. Try going out with different types of guys and basing the decision to go forward or not on things like, are you having a good time with him, is he kind, etc.
You could also try reading the book. It has a corny title, but I really got a lot out of it.
Best of luck to you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): you just stop... find someone softer, someone who loves you for something better. be an alpha female. find the person you are better suited to. You choose the partners...
Star.x.
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