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Which boy do I choose?

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Question - (28 April 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *ubbles101 writes:

I am 14 years old and I like a boy that is a year younger than me. I go to an all girls school and he goes to an all boys school. I am not really that popular and I am afraid that people will make fun of me if I went out with him. There is also another one!! He is a year older than me and a foot shorter than me. He asked me out but I said that I wasn't ready for a relationship but the real reason is that I am sacred what people will think. My friends are behind me but I really don't know who to go out with!

Please help me.Xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009):

Go out with the guy that your heart tells you is right not who people will approve. I used to be like you and worry that people will judge me and ended up being miserable. Remember when you are happy you shout it out to teh world when you are sad and miserable where are those friends that were judging you?

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (29 April 2009):

jessica04 agony auntI have no clue what prompted the last 3 posts. That was way out of left field you guys. We're here to help.

Honey, just go with the boy you like. Even if he's younger, it's worse to be in a relationship with someone because you feel bad for them/ don't want to hurt their feelings.

Like I said before, and like Fatherly Advice said, this will not make or break you. You don't have to pick either if the choice is too tough.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009):

Its not religious crap. ITS THE TRUTH...Don't Buy the Lie that the media, tv, movies, radio selling you.I know the whole world is pounding down your throat that your value is in how you dress its not. YOU'RE WORTH IT! ABSTINENCE IS THE BEST CHOICE IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A HEALTHY FULFILLING MARRIAGE then abstinence is the ONLY CHOICE.

Remember You're worth it, you're so worth it. Every choice we make affects us either for good or bad. Every decision has a consequence just like every action has a reaction.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009):

Dear Xx

You're ABSOLUTELY right you're not ready for a relationship. You have so much life to live enjoy life doing what you want to do. Your time will come when you will be ready for a relationship. Remember this you're special, very special and you're worth waiting for. People respect you if you stand up for yourself. My advice is WAIT you won't regret it...a REAL man will respect you and will want what's best for you. Believe me its hard, its not easy, it seems that everydody is doing and your not, well you're not alone. I'm in my early twenties and I'm still waiting for the man of my dreams. It wasn't always easy but I'm GLAD I've waited and I know it will be WORTH IT...it doesn't mean you can't be friends with guys just be sure to have your boundaries set. DON'T COMPROMISE your values, your standards, your dreams for a few moments of pleasure and a life long of regrets. REMEMBER ALWAYS BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND. Also, I encourage you to surround yourself with friends who have the same beliefs as you do who can support your decisions, but most importantly talk to your parents, grandparents or someone you trust. SET YOUR STANARDS HIGH. Also, I encourage you to make a list of the character qualities that you are looking for. BE REAL, BE YOURSELF.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009):

the year older

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (28 April 2009):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI'm going to try this bit of advice one more time. At 14 it is OK to have more than one friend, You are nearly a decade away from marriage. Now is the time to get to know as many different kinds of people as possible. Go out with both of them and some friends. Make sure they both know you are not exclusive. Maybe when you are 18 you will be ready to pick just one. Group dates, non exclusive dating and sexual abstinence are appropriate for your age.

Now there seems to be a problem either with Short boys or with older boys. Since most young girls tend to like older boys, I'm guessing it is the short part. Being short does not make a man less valuable, it doesn't damage his personality, intelligence, wage earning capacity, or capacity for passion. It does mean that he may need to use a step ladder more often. If you rule out all the boys that are shorter than you because of what "people will think" you will miss out on 20% (more if you are tall) of the guys you could meet. What would you think of a guy who wouldn't go out with a girl because she was overweight, or had red hair. And 1 year age difference is not so bad at 14.

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (28 April 2009):

jessica04 agony auntGo out with the one you like most.

And never lie to a boy because you're not interested. just politely tell him you don't feel the same way for him, and leave it be.

Also, you sound like a pretty popular girl. There will be plenty of boys around in the future. You don't have to pick either of them if the choice is too hard. Life will go on. This is not the end all be all of existence. Just go with your heart and don't over think things.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009):

Um... how about neither? If you are so afraid of what everyone is going to think of you, don't date at all. Whether people will make fun of you and how tall the guy is shouldn't be such a major concern.

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