A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been married for 2 years and im 25 with 2 children,ONE OF THEM FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. my husband lost his mum 2 years ago and his sister is an alcoholic and his father is very religious in the worst possible way (always preaching and never making my husband feel good enough), so he has alot of issues and i have tried so hard to support him but i feel like our lives are taking a back seat. i know i sound selfish but his family have always been this way and there is nothing we can do to help his sister that we havent tried already. i want to support him and i love him but if he wont see our lives as important as well as his sisters how can we live like this. every time we make plans they are ruined by his family so much so that his dad stopped us from moving into our dream home recently by contacting the authorities and complaining about us (all total lies) but he thought it wasnt right for us so he stopped it. my husband didnt stand up to him and accepted this but i cant. he isnt interested in my life or the kids lives because he thinks his familys problems are more important and he is too preoccupied with them. i could go on and on but i wont, i just want some advice on how to tackle this and if you think there is any point in tackling it, my husband has always been like this but i thought that he would eventually cut the apron strings but he hasnt and i cant live in his dad and sisters shadow forever.
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male
reader, toddybad +, writes (12 November 2008):
Have you tried speaking up to his father in front of him? not shouting and screaming but putting across your concerns about what he did and explaing firmly yet fairly that you are with his son and you want to make a life together. your husband will havr to back you up. maybe its the test. wish i could help you more.
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Hi Hunny
Well you say your husbands father is religious and most defiantly not in a good way, As a parent you want your children to be happy, Why on earth his father would put a stop to you and your family moving is just plain cruel phoning to complain about your own child to stop them from being happy, This is just awful, religious my arse.
This is a very judgemental man, Also a very angry man by the sounds of things love...Hunny you can only do so much for people, You have to think of your well being and that of your children to..You are not selfish this is your husband he promised to love and cherish you..I understand he has problems with his father putting him down..But he has you always supporting him..His sister has a problem, has rehab ever been spoken about there love...You have to talk to him and explain that you have always been there and supported his every decision, But now its time he listened to you and how you feel about all of this, Or sweetheart if you don't do this now then it wont get any better... You will end up cracking, You have a husband that is not there for you but is there for a father that is rude and insulting, Does he do what his father wants to one day hope he gets accepted, This is one unhappy man you have to get on with your life no matter what others think or say, What you believe in is what you feel is right and you are a family the 4 of you...Couples counselling just to let him know how serious this is, If he wont listen to you then maybe a third person would help..You have to do something now or who knows what his father will do to stop you from moving forward and being happy..I certainly would not tell him of any plans for your future...He must be hurting an awful lot to hurt his son like this. I feel it would do your husband good to talk about all this and hopefully you two can start being a family love...TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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