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*irsten
writes: I have a boyfriend who I recently let lick chocolate sauce off my body! His father found out through my boyfriend's friend. His father has stopped him seeing me or even talking to me! I really love him. What shall I do? Help me!! Reply to this Question
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (13 May 2005):
 Well, that all depends on your age and circumstance.If he's 18+ and lives on his own, I say the dad needs to get a life and to just live your own how you want.If ya'll 18+ but he lives with his parents, tell his dad that ya'll will be adults about and not have "play" in the house.If ya'll 15-18 then I say you should have a talk with the dad about being responsible (about you know what) and that he (the dad) can't stop his son from growing up.If ya'll are below 15... what the heck are you doing letting a guy lick chocolate off of your body? You may love him, but honestly, but teenage (or tweenage) love /rarely/ lasts and you don't want to start up into something you may regret later. Of course, what I just said doesn't technically help, but at this age range, I don't imagine there is a terrible lot you can do. Other than giving your bf's friend a good whack. And your bf, too, for telling his friend about it in the first place.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (13 May 2005):
 Well, let's just think about this... For your boyfriend's dad to have found out, your boyfriend had to tell at least one of his mates, who then managed also to spill the beans to your man's father. I can't help but wonder how many other people know about this incident, the way your bf shouted it from the treetops! All his mates must know, and probably all their friends and friends' dads as well. (Is the video available yet? ...Kidding.)The fact that your boyfriend's dad heard it third- or fourth-hand, from somebody who wasn't there - or even remotely associated with the event - probably shocked and stunned him. I'm sure he would have wondered what kind of hoochie his boy is running around with. (I don't mean that you *are* one, only that Dad would have thought something along these lines.) He probably reacted to the news in a snap judgement, by forbidding his son to see you. If you think about it from the father's point of view, it's not so strange. Daddy may not have even been aware that his son was involved with a girl and suddenly he's hearing about erotic chocolate lickings...You don't say how old either of you is, but if you're living with your parents and under their rules, then you're probably in your mid-teens, and probably are both too young for chocolate-sauce parties anyway. Not that the chocolate is such a problem, but unsupervised teenage eroticism can lead to a lot of problems, and this is why your bf's dad insisted he not contact you.The only way that I can see to resolve this one is to explain to your bf's father that this was one situation that was not representative of the relationship that you and your boyfriend have, that it was blown out of proportion in the retelling. You might be able to put this in a letter and post it to the old man, if you don't feel you can say it face to face. Don't lie and say it didn't happen, and whatever you do, don't try to sneak around behind the father's back. He'll only find out - no doubt, your boyfriend's mates will tell him - then you'll be in worse with him than you are now.You and your bf will probably want to explain to his dad that you love each other and don't want to be separated over something like this. It will be embarrassing and difficult, but the only way to be taken seriously by adults is by acting in an adult manner. I don't see what else you can do, other than waiting until you're both 18 and then breaking out the chocolate sauce to celebrate.Good luck with it.
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