A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i want to know how to communicate with your lover, when ever he talks about why you love him or why we are in to relationship. i cant answer and he looks like am not serious.i want to know how to alway talk with him.thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (9 August 2007):
I used to have this problem too with my bf. For me, it was just hard because I hadnt said I love you to a bf before and hadnt gotten very deep and meaningful with anyone before (besides like family and frineds). My bf used to question my feelings to him since I couldnt explain them to him.
Figure out why you have trouble telling him how you feel. Is it for a similar eason like mine (lack of experience)? A fear of opening up because if you do, you become vunerable and may be hurt? Is it because maybe you arent sure of how you feel? Whatever the reason be, figure out why and then if you can, explain to him why you have troubles, that way he can understand where you are coming from.
If it is a similar reason as to me, what I found helped was when Im away from him, write down all the reaosns why I love him. It was easier writing it down rather then telling it to his face. Once I had wrriten down exactly why I love him, I remember all these points and thought about how I wolud say it to him next time. Then when the situation came up again, although it was stil difficult, having something prepared in my mind made it easy.
Maybe you could write him a letter with your feelings if you find it difficult to tell him face to face.
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (8 August 2007):
He sounds insecure. He shouldn't need to be told why, just that you do. Or maybe he's just so analytical he needs to rationalize everything in logical terms rather than emotional feelings. That may need to be addressed later, but since that won't help him right now, just tell him the obvious truth. You're comfortable with him. Afterall, if you weren't, you would have walked away already.
If he still asks how he manages to make you comfortable, see if you can figure out why. Maybe he is just overall non-threatening. If that doesn't work, maybe you can talk about some things that made you uncomfortable in the past that other people did, or you can think about that and word it in an answer more centered around him later.
Think about these things and hopefully you'll have an answer by the time he asks again. If you have no answer for him, just say, "Shut up and kiss me," and answer it with a kiss.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (8 August 2007):
 Do you have trouble talking to other people to?...Or can you talk to your girlfriends like a babbling fool? If you can, then you just need to talk to him the same way. If you can't then you may need to think about what you'd like him to say if you were to ask the same question. At any rate, try to speak from your heart. That's always the best form of communication to me. Just tell it like it is. Before the next time he asks you why you're with him, think about how you might answer that question. Is he funny?...Smart?...Interesting?...Maybe you just feel safe with him, like he'll always be there for you. If so, tell him. Once you've done this a few times, it'll get easier to open up.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (8 August 2007):
 well it depends on how long you have been together. You can say general things if you've been together a short time, but if a longer time, than you know details about his personality about why you like him so much. Maybe tell him how he makes you feel being with him. Do you get a warm feeling inside?
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